


Love is...

by Rainbow_Trout



Series: Infinite butterflies [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Autism, F/M, First Love, Love, Matty is the best, autistic!casey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:27:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22609264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Trout/pseuds/Rainbow_Trout
Summary: Casey’s Autistic. That doesn't mean that he doesn't want to date, doesn't want to find that special someone. Because he does.He really does.It just took a certain Hallie Thomas to give him the confidence.
Relationships: Andrew "Andy" Darden/Heather Darden, Matthew Casey/Hallie Thomas
Series: Infinite butterflies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626811
Comments: 106
Kudos: 63





	1. Patient

**Author's Note:**

> Basically had this idea and started crying... because Casey deserves it. 
> 
> Gonna be a lot happier than my previous fic. Have shed tears writing this.

Readjusting himself in the uncomfortable hospital chair, Severide continued to watch his best friend. Casey had been on shift when he’d fallen through a floor, and while he was doing _perfectly fine, Kelly. So stop worrying about me_ , it hadn’t stopped he and Darden from racing from their shared apartment.

And they were both just as anxious as they walked in. Until this point, none of them had needed medical treatment that had required hospitalization; just minor burns, bruises and sprains. But Casey had seemed cheery enough as they entered his ER bay. His right arm was covered with ice packs, and the blonde apologized as he told them he was just waiting for a cast to be fitted. After a few minutes, Severide and Darden had calmed, and took their places beside his bed. 

During their time at the academy, the three of them had never been apart. They did all their classes together, ate together, studied together and of course; lived together. It had been good for all of them; the benefits had been immeasurable. And one of those benefits had been that they could both keep an eye on Casey. While they knew that Casey could look after himself, they were aware that he didn’t really have anyone else. The young blonde had been alone after finishing his childhood in a group home, so they became his surrogate family – something they were more than happy to do.

But after graduation, they’d been sent to different houses. Of course, they’d expected it – most houses could only take one candidate. But they’d all been hoping that they’d at least be on the same shift. That way, there was only two to three days of worry a week.

And they’d almost managed it. Severide and Darden had been the first to open their assignments and had been ecstatic when they’d worked out that they were both on third shift, even if their houses were on opposite sides of the city. Casey had then opened his assignment and hadn’t even got a chance to look at it before Darden had snatched it. Andy’s face had fallen, and Kelly had then inspected the paper.

Casey was at the same house as Kelly but was on second shift.

It wasn’t like any of them _really_ minded, but Severide had been hoping that it was either he or Darden that were alone. He _knew_ that Casey could look after himself, but he’d still hoped that they could keep an eye on their youngest brother. But the young blonde had just shrugged it off, claiming he didn’t really mind. This was actually for the best; at least one of them was always home.

And they’d all been fine when they’d started at their houses. Candidates were always hazed, and they’d all laughed over stories. Darden and Severide always listened particularly intently to Casey’s stories, asking questions and trying to ascertain if any of the hazing he’d been receiving was a step too far. But it didn’t seem like it. Apparently, the battalion chief on Casey’s shift had an autistic son, and he always kept an eye out. Not that it was needed; the firefighters there all understood and seemed to be beyond kind.

Kelly was drawn from his thoughts as a young doctor walked in, and he had to admit; his eyes were on her. She was absolutely _stunning_.

She moved over to Casey, briefly checking his file. A thoughtful tongue peeped out of her lips, and Severide smirked.

“Your name is Matthew Casey?”

Casey nodded that it was, not picking up on the signs that Severide was blatantly aware of. Both he and Darden took a step back, unable to hide their smirks as they watched the interaction.

“My name is Dr. Thomas, but you can call me Hallie.”

Still totally ignorant of her flirting, Casey replied politely, reaching out his left hand to shake. Hallie smiled as she took it, then nodded across to the other two candidates, “These your friends, Matt?”

Following her eye line, Casey grinned as he nodded, “Yeah… Andy and Kelly. They’re my roomies.”

Hallie smiled, her blue eyes sparkling, “Will they be the ones taking you home after you’ve been discharged? I’d suggest staying with someone to help around until the pain lessens.”

Again, Casey nodded. To him, these questions were just procedure; he couldn’t see the hidden meaning. He couldn’t read Hallie’s tone, nor did he notice how she was battering her eyelashes. He’d once told Andy and Kelly that girls had never been interested in him, but Severide now believed that it was just because Casey hadn’t noticed their flirting; because even he had to admit that his close friend was hot.

The young student doctor excused herself, telling Casey that she was getting the supplies for his cast, and that he’d then be able to leave. Casey thanked her and watched as she walked out the door. His eyes were fixed on her hair, though. Not on the way that she was swaying her hips.

No sooner had Hallie left, Darden stood, moving over to Casey and slapping his shoulder, “What the hell, Matt?”

Casey blanched, worried that he’d offended someone, and Darden realized his mistake. Quickly backtracking, he clarified; “You’ve done nothing wrong, Matty. But she was flirting with you.”

The blonde’s eyebrows creased in the way they always did when he was confused, when he was exposed to something new. He didn’t think that she’d been flirting at all. Girls might twirl their hair when they flirt, or they might bite their lip. At least, that’s what a friend had told him in high school, and Hallie had done none of those things, “Are you sure, Andy?”

Darden snorted, “I’m sure. Very sure. Kelly?”

It was Severide’s turn to nod, “She definitely was, bud.”

For a second, Casey just looked surprised, and then confused again. Why was this student doctor flirting with _him?_

Unable to come up with a clever sentence, he just spluttered; “Really?”

Severide rolled his eyes, donning a high-pitched voice as he parroted, “Call me _Hallie._ ”

The blonde blinked, realization dawning over his features, “… oh…”

Kelly couldn’t help but grin, glancing across to see a similar expression on Darden’s face. Casey was still frowning, but there was also hope in his eyes, and his mouth twisted into a smile as he blushed slightly, “What do I do? I mean… how do I…?”

And even though Darden knew what Casey was asking, he decided to clarify first; “You like her. Don’t you, bud?”

Casey’s smirk disappeared, and Darden mentally slapped himself. He forgot how careful he needed to be when wording things at times, because Casey’s adorable frown had once again crossed his face, “Hallie’s been nice so far. I have no reason to dislike her.”

While Severide might nudge someone else and tease them for avoiding the question, he knew that Casey just needed clarification; “Do you want to get to know her more, Case? Possibly as a girlfriend?”

As they watched, Casey’s smirk returned and his left hand flicked. It wasn’t often that Casey allowed any of his stimming behaviors to be seen – he’d probably managed to hide it his entire time at the academy, and likely did the exact same at his firehouse – and Severide knew that he had his answer. He and Darden smiled at each other. This was as exciting for them as it was for Casey.

Knowing that their friend would probably be going from utter basics, they stuck their heads together, ready to give him a crash course in flirting.

“Do I have to tell her I’m autistic?”

Darden paused. Hallie wasn’t stupid. She was a doctor, and Andy had no doubt that autism would be covered in med school. Casey might be good at hiding it, but anyone who spent any real time with the blonde be blatantly aware of it. More importantly, though, Darden knew that Casey felt more comfortable if those around him knew; that way, they would at least understand if he did something strange.

“You don’t have too, Case, but if telling her makes you more comfortable; you should go for it.”

Before Casey had the opportunity to weigh up the pros and cons, there was a light knock at the door, and they all turned to see Hallie. She gave them a kind smile – and bless her, didn’t look in the least bit uncomfortable – and waited. Severide and Darden both stood, heading towards the door.

Casey’s eyes widened, jerking slightly as he sat up straighter, “Wait, where are you going?”

They both looked back, only feeling slightly guilty that they were leaving. But it wouldn’t be fair to Hallie if they remained in the room, and they knew that Casey had to do this for himself.

“We’ll just be outside, bud. Here if you need us.”

The blonde froze. In everything that Severide and Darden had said, he hadn’t realized that he’d be alone. But before he could protest, they’d both politely excused themselves, going to wait out in the hallway.

Casey was still wide-eyed when he glanced back at Hallie, utterly smitten by her beauty. He’d noticed before, of course, but that had been when he’d thought that there was no way she was interested in him. Now that he knew that she was, it was different.

The crash course that Darden and Severide had given him flew out the window, and he opened his mouth and blurted; “I’m autistic.”

Hallie just smiled at him, chuckling lightly and relaxing her shoulders, “I know, Matt. It’s on your file.”

Matt just paused. He knew that Hallie was being kind; he could see it in her body language, “Oh… uh… you don’t mind?”

The young doctor just smiled again as she shook her head, finally taking a step closer and setting down the supplies. Casey’s brow furrowed. He knew what Darden and Severide had told him, and he trusted that they were right. But he needed to be sure. The only issue was that they had told him _not_ to ask if she was interested… but he felt as though he needed to.

Deciding that asking permission might work, Casey glanced back up, “Can I… ask you a question?”

Lightly, Hallie reached across, taking Casey’s good hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, “I’m interested in getting to know you, Matt, and I would like to go out sometime. I don’t mind that you have autism.”

Casey didn’t know how to respond to that, and he bit his lip as Hallie started prepping the bandages. She moved to his right side, softly telling him that she was about to start wrapping his arm.

“Why are you interested in me?”

Hallie had almost jumped at the question, because it had come seemingly from nowhere. But she recovered quickly, not surprised that it had come up, “I overheard you talking with your friends, you were making me laugh. I asked my attending if I could fit your cast just so I could talk to you.”

She’d blushed as she’d said the last part, and Casey noticed. He knew that he should reassure her, but he was struggling to find the right words, “That’s a little creepy, but I don’t mind. Because you seem really nice.”

That earned him a huge grin and another light chuckle, and Casey knew that she was being nice. He blushed himself, glancing down slightly, “Sorry. Kel says I have the tact of a drunk flamingo.”

Resting Casey’s arm back against the pillow, Hallie smiled even wider, “No, that’s fine, Matt. I like it. I think it’s funny – in a good way.”

Casey allowed himself a smile at that, before timidly asking her about herself. Hallie answered happily, and Casey was amazed at how easy it was. Kelly had thrown himself down on the couch and declared that he was _never_ dating anyone _ever_ again enough times that Casey had assumed it must be near impossible – but talking to Hallie was almost as easy as it was talking to Andy or Sev.

He didn’t even realise that she’d finished setting his cast, and, all too soon, she was apologizing and telling him she had to get back to her shift – her attending had wanted a nurse setting his cast in the first place.

Before she left, though, she lightly took his right hand, as gentle as ever as she wrote her number on his cast.

Along with a little smiley face.


	2. Kind

Hallie glanced around as she walked into the restaurant, spotting Casey sitting at a table. He looked uncomfortable, if she was honest, and she could see him tapping his fingers nervously against his glass of water.

The sight concerned her. This place had been her choice – a casual restaurant that she’d been waiting to try for a while. At first, she hadn’t been sure if she should drag Casey along. Though the blonde wasn’t too rigid with his diet – although, he ate a lot more take away than she was used too – he did like his regular places. But after a couple of dates spent sitting on his couch, the blonde had insisted.

Now, she was trying to decide if it had been a mistake.

But the thought was soon wiped from her mind, because as soon as Casey saw her, he grinned, huge and genuine.

“Hey, Hals!”

She smiled and moved closer, allowing herself to relax as Matt stood. He wasted no time in spreading his arms out, and she quickly mirrored the motion. Immediately, she was engulfed in a warm hug, only slightly impeded by Casey’s arm still snug in its cast.

Casey loved hugs; she’d been quick to learn. And he was damn good at giving them.

Her shift had finished two hours after Casey had been discharged, and she’d turned on her phone to see that the blonde had already sent her a nice massage. They’d then started conversing back and forth, Casey’s messages getting longer and longer as they went on.

Their first date had been at Casey’s apartment, because Hallie hadn’t wanted to put any more pressure on the blonde than necessary. Severide had been there, but he’d motioned to a pile of books and CDs, stating that he was just going to study in his room. She wasn’t stupid; she knew that he was staying there so he’d be there for Casey if the blonde needed him, but she paid it no mind.

She was just relieved that he had good friends.

They’d then ordered pizza – Casey ordering with so much fluency that she knew he’d ordered it before, probably _many_ times – and started conversing. For the most part it was easy – though she was definitely leading the conversation – but then there was an increasing number of instances that Casey had needed to go to the bathroom.

To Hallie, it had been crystal clear that he was going to check in with Severide, making sure he was handling things right. And as much she’d thought that it was sweet at first, she’d quickly realised that the entire ordeal was probably stressing Matt out.

So, she’d taken both of his hands, telling him that he didn’t need to check in with his friend, “I want to get to know you, Matt. Not Kelly.”

Casey had swallowed, dropping her gaze as he muttered; “I’m awkward. At the best of times.”

Hallie had then tightened her grip on his hands, tugging him closer and giving him her best smile, “Then let’s get to know awkward.”

The blonde had been reassured by that, and they’d then found their rhythm with ease. In the comfort of his own apartment, Matt was even funnier. He was clearly bright, and passionate, and a humble person. He was still a little nervous about the date, but who was she kidding.

She had been too.

Because she really liked Matt.

They’d hung out a few times after that, once or twice with both Andy and Kelly. At first, she’d felt them scrutinizing her – but rather than freaking her out, it just warmed her heart. Casey had thus far avoided the topic of his family, but Hallie got the impression that they weren’t around. So, it was good to see that he had people who cared for him.

Matt had then taken to calling her Hals, and was infatuated by her hair. And then it got even easier to talk to each other. Their conversations were borderline endless, extremely enjoyable as they got to know one another.

The blonde quickly pulled her seat out, mock bowing as she sat down. She thanked him as he pushed her in. In honesty – the place might be nice, but it wasn’t _that_ nice, no one else would be pushing their partners in. But if Matt wanted to be a gentleman – well, she certainly wasn’t going to deny him.

Casey poured her a glass of water before sitting himself down, grinning across to her and making sure she got there okay. She beamed at his courtesy – he really was a caring soul.

They made small talk for a few minutes, Hallie finding that she needed to lead the conversation less and less. But she was acutely aware that Matt was fiddling with his menu – likely a mix of hunger an anxiety. Deciding to end his suffering – and her own, if she was honest. Because she was hungry – she opened her own menu.

She was actually quite impressed by their selection of food. It was a Western style restaurant, and the menu was incredible – even if it was trying to talk itself up a little. Her eye was on the steamed fish – or the ‘dill-mint infused yogurt on steamed trout on a bed of steamed greens’ – when she heard Casey tapping against his glass again. But it was entirely unconscious – he wasn’t trying to get her attention, so she opted to ignore it.

When it got faster, though, Hallie realised he was getting distressed. Glancing up, she noticed him frowning as he studied the menu.

It was only then she realised her mistake.

Even if everything on the menu wasn’t as fancy as it claimed to be, nothing was simple – and nothing that Casey had probably eaten before. Mentally cursing herself for being so careless, Hallie put her own menu down, “Seen anything good, Matt?”

The blonde glanced up, stopping his tapping immediately. He hadn’t meant to seem rude, but Hallie was just giving him her usual grin, “Um… have… steak au pov…re…”

Hallie just kicked herself again. She’d been worried about the complexity of the food, but it hadn’t even occurred to her that he didn’t know what everything was. The kitchen had clearly decided to use the most pretentious terms they could find – and even if she knew nothing about Matt’s past, she had an idea that he’d grown up quite poor.

He likely didn’t even know what half these words meant.

Hating herself for being so careless and not even considering how the finer details of how this might affect Matt, Hallie considered just calling it quits right then. She was more than happy to go back to one of Matt’s usual places; but she also got the impression that it wasn’t what the blonde wanted. Matt might struggle with change, he might find it difficult and confusing, but he also didn’t want it to restrict him. There was no way that he wanted Hallie to constantly be dismissing her own desires, no matter how hard he had to push himself in the moment.

So, knowing what would be best for Matt, Hallie glanced down at her menu. It didn’t take long for her to locate what Matt had been talking about, and she just acted as though nothing had happened as she stated; “Oh, steak au Poivre… it’s steak with peppercorn sauce.”

He mustn’t have known what peppercorn sauce was, because Casey flushed a deeper shade of red. But Hallie just kept going as though nothing had happened, “Peppercorn sauce is kind of creamy… not _too_ different from the cream pasta we had a week ago. It has peppercorns in it… which is just pepper before it’s ground up. I think that you’d like it.”

The blonde’s blush faded, and he thought it through, “Cream on steak?”

Hallie shrugged, still eying the menu for something else that the blonde might like, “Cooked cream? It tastes better than it sounds.”

There was another moment in which Casey looked as though he’d rather be eating somewhere else, but then, he nodded. Hallie was definitely worth trying something new, “Okay. I’ll have that…”

Impressed at how quick Casey had been to accept the change – though still deciding to make an excuse to get him out of there if he didn’t like his meal – Hallie waved down one of the waiters, watching Casey order first before asking for her own meal. Casey also asked for a beer – his usual variety – and Hallie opted for white wine.

The blonde was still on medical leave from the firehouse on account of his broken arm, and Hallie knew that it had also slowed his construction business because he was severely limited in what he could do. He’d already said how bored he had been, sitting around his apartment and seemingly doing nothing. He felt as though there wasn’t a single TV program left for him to watch, and he was going stir crazy.

And she sympathized with him. She’d never been injured quite like he was, and she could tell that he was used to a much more active lifestyle. But she had to admit; the entire ordeal did mean one good thing.

That the blonde was always eager to talk to her, always wanted to be around her. He was respectful while she was at work – though she was getting used to being bluntly honest when she was just too busy to reply to his messages – but as soon as she was off shift, he was ready for a chat. He was as good at telling stories as he was listening to them, and she had never felt as comfortable sitting in silence with someone. Matt was this unexplainable warmth in her life, and she couldn’t love him more.

Reaching across the table, she clasped his hands. He grinned and squeezed back, and she wracked her brain for an excuse to get him to talk. She loved his stories; but he often needed the questions to be fairly specific. ‘What did you do today’ was far less likely to get a strong response, because Casey needed the specificity. She’d known that already and was amazed as to how much it applied to Casey.

Feeling his cast in her hand, she glanced down. It was an easy topic to default too. She already knew how he’d got injured – and suspected that his friends didn’t even know that it had been to save his very own captain – and she probably understood more than him about the break. She knew that the cast annoyed him – who liked having their arm in a cast? – and she knew that aside from her number, he had only allowed Kelly and Andy to sign it.

Which was why she was surprised to see the drawing now.

She couldn’t quite make it out.

Down the hand end of the cast, there looked to be a… face? A horse face, or something similar. But the rest of the cast had little… half-clouds?

She put her head to the side, lightly stroking her fingers down the length of it, “What’s that, Matt?”

Casey glanced down, before flushing, quickly taking his arm and putting it under the table, “Oh… it’s… nothing…”

It was a different reaction from the one she’d been dangerously close to asking about his parents. That one had been embarrassment and sadness, and this one still held a tinge of embarrassment but also… as though he was covering something he really wanted to talk about?

She didn’t get a chance to confront him, though, because the food arrived. She didn’t miss Casey’s nervous glance as he looked over the plate, but she knew that he wasn’t trying to be impolite.

So, she’d not made a big deal of it as she’d started to tuck into her own meal. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Casey poking at his steak with his fork, before he selected a corner and started cutting it. She was still watching as he eyed the steak wearily, before he put a piece in his mouth, clearly trying to not make much of a fuss.

Then, he paused.

She knew that she should give him time, but she couldn’t help it anymore. His expression was almost unreadable, and it gave her a lot of anxiety, “Do you like it?”

The blonde glanced up, before breaking into a grin. He definitely hadn’t intended to appear so sinister, “I actually do. It’s really good.”

A wave of relief washed over her. Not only for her sake, but for Matt’s. She knew that it was a big deal for him to be trying something new, especially given that it was also in a new place. She’d been worried that Casey wouldn’t enjoy his dinner, worried that she’d pushed him too far out of his comfort zone – but the blonde was utterly fine.

Casey was once again focusing intently on his plate, continuing to cut up the meat. He had a habit of neglecting conversations when he was eating, though Hallie was now well-versed in bringing him back in. Not that she minded the silence too much – Casey’s presence was something by itself.

Taking the first bite of her own meal, she almost melted. The food was amazing. The yogurt blended with the fish in the perfect way, the lime and dill adding the perfect amount of zest. It was pretentious food; but she loved it regardless.

Without thinking, she made Matt up a fork. It was something that she usually did with her girlfriends, so everyone could get a taste of everything, “Hey, Matt? Do you want to try mine?”

Casey paused, jolting slightly as he looked at the fork. He almost looked as though he was going to say no, but, catching himself, he reached over and took the fork.

He had tried hiding his reaction as he tasted the food; but it had been to no success. His entire body shuddered as his nose wrinkled, and Casey glared slightly at the fork. Still, did his best to force a smile as he handed her back the utensil, already reaching out with one hand for his glass of water, “Um… yeah, it’s… nice.”

_Bless._

“You don’t have to like it because I do, Matt… you’re allowed to not like things.”

The blonde glanced over the edge of his glass, before smirking lightly. Almost as though the words had been waiting on the tip of his tongue, fighting to get out, he blurted; “It made my mouth feel like it’s been assaulted.”

Hallie just giggled, and a relieved grin covered Casey’s face. He was always worried about offending people. He knew that he couldn’t read people; not without the coaching that Darden and Severide had given him. And although he was now more than capable in most situations, it had left him with little faith in himself. On some level, the blonde knew that he was a lot more anxious than he needed to be – in fact, Severide had told him many times that he didn’t need to worry as much as he did – but he couldn’t help it. It would be a lifelong challenge. 

The doubt crept in, and he couldn’t help himself, “Sev said that I should pretend to like anything you cook… but this is different, right? I didn’t offend you?”

Heart melting a little more, Hallie reached across to grab his hands, nodding, “This is different, you haven’t offended me. Although… I don’t want you to pretend to like things for my benefit. I want you to feel like you can be honest… what Severide said is a good rule in general, yeah… but you don’t have to apply it to me.”

It was enough to reassure Casey, because he grinned, “Well, if there’s one thing that I’m good at… it’s being honest.”

“You’re good at other things, Matt… you’re really good at making me laugh, and making me happy…”

The blonde’s shy smile was worth it, and he quickly made up a fork for Hallie. He passed it over, grinning as she took a bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically one time I looked up the food menu for a private school and I didn’t understand half the words...


	3. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love alpacas

The TV in Casey’s apartment was ridiculously high quality, the audio was almost crystal clear. In fact, it was so nice that it almost looked out of place, but Casey had been quick to explain why. Apparently, regular TVs – that it, budget ones – let out a low hum, and Casey’s hyperacute hearing was particularly good at picking it up. The blonde was able to tolerate it, but it was almost painful for him to listen to, and he usually retreated to his room to avoid the unpleasant stimulus.

Initially, Darden and Severide had thought that Casey was retreating out of his room out of habit, but something hadn’t seemed right. Casey liked their company, so it didn’t make sense that he would avoid them. When Severide had questioned Casey, the blonde had been embarrassed, and had stopped going to his room. But there had been a noticeable development.

Whenever the TV was on, Casey would pull up his hood, or pool a blanket over his head. It had then clicked for Darden, and thinking back, he’d realised that Casey had only disappeared when the TV had been on.

He’d confronted Casey in private, and the blonde had shrugged as he’d admitted that the low hum bothered him. He didn’t see it as a big deal; it was just something that he’d have to learn to cope with. That had caused Darden to roll his eyes lightly; it was so _Casey_ to suck things up rather than admitting how he felt. After convincing his parents to chip in a little money, Darden had gone and bought them a new set.

And Casey had been so extremely happy.

He no longer disappeared to his room, and quite enjoyed watching the TV with his roommates. Even though Severide and Darden hadn’t noticed _that_ much difference; it had made a world of difference to their blonde friend, and that made it worth it. 

Plus, the good TV had another perk.

Aside form smarmy Ted Griffin and his rich parents – who no one liked, anyway – they by far had the best television set in the academy. That meant that most gatherings occurred at their apartment, everyone packing themselves in to watch the Hawks games. That was good because it meant that their apartment was going to good use (Darden) and had the added benefit that they didn’t have to go anywhere afterwards so could avoid the Chicago cold (Casey) and could drink as much as they pleased (Severide).

So, when Casey had asserted that he didn’t mind spending time at Hallie’s place, and that she didn’t have to keep coming over to his, it was the perfect excuse. She’d told him that while she wanted him to be as comfortable as possible (because she knew that her apartment had inherit issues for someone with autism, even though Casey hadn’t actually complained), she really didn’t mind coming to his, if for the TV alone. After making sure that Andy and Kelly were both happy with her near constant presence, Casey had allowed himself a breath of relief. They quickly built over a habit around watching the hockey – because Hallie liked hockey! Could Casey find anything else to love her over? – and that was where she was right now, crammed on his couch, wedged between the arm with Matt cuddled to her side. She always sat on his left side, so he could wrap his good arm firmly around her shoulders, fingers entwining themselves in her hair. Even if his broken arm wasn’t causing him as much pain as before, he knew that it wasn’t pleasant to be leaning against, and he always wanted Hallie to be comfy.

And she was, soaking in Casey’s warmth as he continued to fiddle with her hair. His presence always comforted her, making her feel calm and loved. Everything about him was so sweet and caring, and she looked forwards to every single moment she could spend by his side. He really cared about how she was feeling and put a lot of effort into learning about her interests. It was so much more than any boyfriend had ever bothered doing before, and she knew that she’d found a keeper.

The screen flicked to an ad break, and Casey shifted, bringing her in closer. Kelly took the opportunity to stand, picking up the empty beer bottles and asking if anyone wanted anything else. Casey had repeated the question to Hallie, humming softly as he pressed his lips to the side of her head.

Severide was already trekking back to the lounge – with a single beer in his hand – when Casey suddenly jolted, entire body flinching. Hallie was quick to glance back to check on Kelly but could only see him wearing a knowing smile.

Looking over to Andy, she could see the same expression mirrored on his face. By now thoroughly confused, she glanced back to Matt.

The blonde’s eyes were fixed on the TV with a sense of utter fascination that Casey usually only got from touching her hair. He was rocking himself slightly, lips moving with silent words.

She looked across to the TV, surprised when she saw lush green fields. Standing seemingly in the centre, was a white animal. The ad cut to a close up, and Hallie felt Casey flinch against her again, his excitement evident even though he was trying to conceal it.

Realisation dawned as she registered that the animal on the television was the same one as was drawn on Casey’s cast. Suddenly, him hiding his arm at the restaurant made a lot more sense. She smiled softly, understanding that she’d discovered one of Casey’s obsessions.

Seeing that the blonde was clearly trying to contain himself – because he knew from experience that people found it annoying when he monologued about his obsessions – Hallie put a gentle hand to his arm, nodding to the screen, “Is that a llama, Matt?”

Apparently, it had been the wrong thing to say, because Andy and Kelly both snorted. Matt was polite enough with his response, though, still quiet and timid as he uttered; “It’s an alpaca.”

Hallie smiled, though she could clearly read the anxiety in Casey’s body. She didn’t see any need for him to be anxious, because she had absolutely no issues with him talking about his obsession. She knew what obsessions were, of course, and she knew how people with autism tended to latch onto them. It was surprising that it had even taken this long for one of them to come out, but Hallie suspected that it was to do with Casey’s own self-discipline.

Not wanting him to think that he had to hide himself – nor that she wasn’t interested in alpacas – she shrugged lightly, keeping her voice casual as she commented; “I’m sorry… I know there’s a difference, but I don’t really remember it.”

The difference between alpacas and llamas were clearly something he had explained before, because Casey stimmed as he launched into his explanation, “There’s a lot… alpacas are shorter, and so is their face. They have more hair, and it’s much softer… though you can’t really see that from an image, so that’s understandable.”

“Alpacas like being in herds, but llamas are independent. Alpacas are also friendlier and can even learn tricks. Alpacas have a blunt, fluffy face; whereas llamas have a long one. Their heads are also a lot less fluffy, so alpacas are cuter.”

He had started tracing the image on his cast, now focusing intently on the ears. He sounded pointed, staring at Andy as he stated; “Alpacas have shorter ears, llamas have longer ones.”

Darden snorted, holding his hands up as he chuckled, “I said I was sorry… I was just trying to make it look cute. Not like a llama.”

But Casey was still glaring at him, gaze flicking between Andy and the offending alpaca-llama drawing. Andy knew that his friend wasn’t actually mad, but he also knew how hard it was for Casey to move past his upset sometimes, “The rest of it looks like an alpaca… I honestly didn’t know, Case. I’m sorry.”

Matt surveyed him again, before nodding, “I know… I forgive you, Andy… just hope that no one thinks it’s a llama. I don’t want a llama on my arm.”

Being as calm as possible, Andy nodded, “Fair enough… but I still think it looks like an alpaca. Because of the fluffy head.”

Casey nodded, looking slowly down at the cast. Absently, he started stroking the cast, swaying gently from side to side, clearly lost in a world of facts, “Good, because alpacas are really cool… their wool is hypoallergenic… so it’s really versatile. And it repels water, and it’s soft… and it’s the second strongest animal fiber in the world… oh, and it’s fire-resistant, by U.S Consumer standards…”

He trailed off for a moment, still staring at his cast intently. He was clearly in a world of his own, and Hallie couldn’t stop her smile. Glancing across to Andy and Kelly, she could see similar expressions on their faces. Clearly, they were used to Casey monologuing, and that told Hallie that being privy to them was a huge statement of Casey’s trust. That made her smile even more, and she twisted her head to get a look at him.

A small smile was plastered on his face, and it was one of the most genuine that she’d ever seen. But she could still tell that he was nervous, so she didn’t say anything, watching him with an expression of utter love.

“The main noise they make is a hum… mostly when they’re happy. So, they’re kinda like me in that way…”

Suddenly, Casey snapped out of his daze, blushing bright red as he scrambled to explain, “I mean, obviously I don’t think I’m an alpaca… I’m not, obviously… I just mean… that I like humming… uh…”

There were tears in his eyes as he started to over think things, panic setting in as he realised what he’d been saying. He didn’t want Hallie to think that he was a kid. He wasn’t. He was an adult. And he hated that he had these obsessions that he couldn’t think past. They were so embarrassing, and he didn’t know what Hallie thought.

Her expression made him pause, though. It was one he didn’t think he’d seen before, but it hadn’t sent his mind reeling. Usually, when he saw an expression that he didn’t recognise, it gave him a fair deal of stress. But somehow, he could tell that this one was a positive…

Still, he didn’t know how to respond beyond what he was used too, and that was too apologize. He hung his head, once again staring at his cast as he whispered; “I’m sorry… you don’t want to hear about alpacas… I tend to monologue when I get excited. You can tell me to shut up… I don’t mind.”

Aware that both Andy and Kelly were watching her, she lightly reached down, fingertips brushing the cast as she drew in Casey’s attention, “I don’t want you to shut you up, Matt… I love hearing you talk. I really do… it’s sweet.”

Casey blinked, glancing up, “You don’t find it annoying?”

Gently, one hand went to his jawbone, lightly stroking along it, “I don’t find it annoying. I’m actually quite interested in alpacas… I want to hear about them.”

Unable to hide his confusion for another moment – because, he was pretty sure that no one had ever been truly interested in him before – Casey glanced back across to Darden, before returning his gaze to Hallie, “And… you’re not pretending? I just… want to be sure. I don’t want to annoy you.”

She was still watching him with the expression that he couldn’t quite place, and he almost jumped as she leant forwards. She just lightly placed one hand to his shoulder as she moved closer, though, before pressing her lips to his.

He didn’t return it, at first. It wasn’t like they hadn’t kissed before, but this was the first time on the lips. She pulled away, and suddenly, the expression she’d been wearing clicked.

It was one of love.

He felt his chest warm as he continued staring at her, a timid smile and a light blush adorning his face. He was the one to lean in this time, initiating the kiss just as softly as she had. It was by no means the first real kiss that he’d had, but this one felt… real.

He just couldn’t explain it.

Hallie pulled back, smiling gently at him. He grinned back, emotions all over the place. Almost as though Hallie could sense it – not to mention knew exactly how to calm him down – she leant her head against his shoulder, entwining her fingers into his broken ones as she hummed, “What other alpaca facts do you have?”

Casey grinned – she couldn’t see it, but she could just feel it – and gently started rocking again, the motion soothing her, “Foxes are scared of alpacas, so lots of farmers have them, because if their poop is fresh, the fox is too scared to come near them… so the lambs chickens or whatever are protected, which is really cool…”

Hallie grinned, gently pressing a kiss to his neck. The Hawks game had since come back on the television, but Andy and Kelly didn’t seem to mind, and Hallie had far more interest in what Casey was saying than the actual game.

“Oh, and they don’t have hooves… they just have soft pads. So, they don’t even damage the land… and, they all poop in the same area, and they don’t rip out the grass roots, just eat the top… so they’re basically lawnmowers… which is another reason they’re so popular. There’s two main types, the Suri and Huacaya… Huacaya are the ones you mainly see here, they’re far more common…”


	4. Honest

“TCA is an acronym for what?”

Hallie let out a breath. She thought that she knew the answer to that one, but the sheer number of acronyms that she’d had to learn were starting to get the better of her. Since being placed in the hospital, she’d had less and less time to spend with her med school cohort, and therefore less and less time to study. At first, she’d been fine with it. That component of med school was over, really. But a mishap in the emergency room that had resulted in Hallie’s attending screaming at her and calling her incompetent had ruined her confidence.

When she’d vented to Matt about it, he’d done his best to reassure her. She wasn’t expected to know everything, that was why she had an attending. She was there to learn, and her attending was there to teach her. Mistakes were there to learn from, and no one had been hurt. Everything was okay. And while she appreciated his words, she was still shaken from the entire ordeal.

But Matt had noticed and offered to help her revise. He knew that he didn’t have the medical knowledge that Hallie had, but he was willing to do anything to accommodate her in her revision.

Unable to hide her huge and genuine smile – because Matt was so damn _sweet_ and _kind_ and _perfect_ – she’d dug out her old cue cards. They’d then settled on her bed, legs crossed and facing each other, as they made their way through the pile. They’d already been through the entire stack once, but Matt seemed more than happy to help her keep going. He’d organised the cards into three piles – the ones he still had to test her on, the things that Hallie already knew, and the things that she wasn’t as confident on.

“Umm… that one’s… tricyclic antidepressant?”

Casey grinned as he nodded, eyes lighting up. Quickly, he dropped it into the ‘learnt’ pile, knowing that she’d have no further issues with the acronym. He was so proud of Hallie; she was so smart. And she was beautiful… and perfect…

Glancing at the next card, he didn’t even pick it up as he asked, "Phenylketonuria is the inability to process which amino acid?”

She knew that one and smiled as she stated; “Phenylalanine.”

The blonde grinned even wider, picking up the card and moving it to the ‘learnt’ pile. She noticed that he hadn’t checked the back, but she was fairly confident that she’d been right. She did trust him, and she knew that he wasn’t going to lie to her to build her confidence, so she shrugged it off. He was already leaning over, inspecting the next card at the top of the pile, “A patient presents to the ED with chest pains. What are the appropriate tests to run?”

She had to think about that one, because there were multiple tests. She ran through everything in her head, knowing that she sounded underconfident as she answered; “Um… bloods for troponin, CK-MB… an angiography to check for damage, and a 12-lead EKG for monitoring.”

Matt nodded encouragingly, searching her face. He was kind and calm as he gently coached her; “Yup! Those are right, and also…”

She had no idea what she’d missed, and her eyes went to the bed, focusing on the pattern. Her lips moved silently as she tried to work out her answer, trying to remember the test that she’d forgotten.

Matt was watching her, waiting for a short time before further instructing, “It’s another blood test…”

She kept thinking, but it just wasn’t coming to her. Glancing back up at Matt, she flushed lightly as she bit her lip. Matt only smiled, though, more than ready to give her another hint, “Starts with C… Cer… Ceram…”

Hallie almost jumped, abruptly realising what she’d forgotten, “Ceramides!”

Casey’s eyes utterly lit up, and he beamed at Hallie as he nodded, “Yeah, exactly!”

Hallie grinned, adoring his excitement as she watched him pick up the card and drop it into the ‘further revision’ pile. She realised that he hadn’t checked the back again, though. More out of curiosity than mistrust, she asked; “Wait, Matt… how did you know?”

The blonde firefighter candidate jumped as he looked up, furrowing his brow as he looked her over. He clearly hadn’t quite understood why she’d asked, because he bit his lip as he glanced to the pile of cards. He’d been so confident that he’d had it right – because the answers had been bouncing around his mind for a while, repeating each other over and over – but he didn’t want to help her learn the wrong thing.

So, he reached across, twisting his bad arm awkwardly as he turned the card over. Sure enough, he’d been right – the test that Hallie had missed was for Ceramides. He didn’t get a chance to say anything, though, because Hallie put her hang over his, gently brushing his fingers and drawing his attention back to her, “No… you were right, Matt… I didn’t doubt that… but… how did you know? You’ve been through these cards… once?”

Understanding the miscommunication, Casey’s eyes widen. Then, he flushed, the light blush spreading over his cheeks as he shrugged lightly, “I… I have a good memory. Well, it is when it chooses to be… sometimes it’s crap.”

Hallie just grinned, eyes lighting up, “That’s incredible, Matt.”

Matt blushed deeper, shrugging again. He had never known how to accept compliments; they hadn’t been a big part of his childhood, or even his life. He’d actually asked Darden on how to deal with them, how to accept them, and Andy had been more than happy to assist. Casey now had a set of phrases that he could use. They remained modest, but still polite, accepting the compliment without making the person feel embarrassed, “Thanks, it helps when the subject interests me.”

Smiling at his modesty, Hallie reached over and took his good hand, squeezing it gently. Casey was still blushing, but he was also happy. He was happy that he’d helped, of course. Helping others was always something he’d enjoyed doing, something that was a constant. But he also knew that Hallie loved him; and that wasn’t something that had been a constant. Love had been so inconsistent in his childhood, that the feeling of having it at the end of his fingers was just the best feeling in the world.

And that was just the best feeling ever.

* * *

Later that evening, they were lying in Casey’s bed together, Matt’s hand once again entwined in her hair. They had gone to a diner for dinner – Casey having been impressed when Hallie had eaten a bigger burger than his – and had then retreated to his apartment, surpassing Severide’s offer to watch the game and heading straight to his bedroom. Darden had Heather over, so Casey had pulled the door shut behind him, cutting off the ambient noise.

And, they’d been whispering back and forth since.

“It wasn’t really the deciding factor, though… I wanted to do med because… I was interested. Yes, I wanted to help people… but arguably there’s other professions that do that more. Like yours.”

Matt thought about that for a moment, before shaking his head slightly, “Nah, medicine helps people… as much as anything else. As much as firefighting… you’re making people better, saving their lives, making them healthy and happy.”

Hallie just inclined her head, “Hmmm… maybe. But I’m not pulling people out of burning buildings… I can go through entire days just seeing cases of the sniffles.”

Letting out an amused snort, Casey’s eyes lit up, “It’s not all pulling babies out of burning buildings… there’s a lot of standing around, a lot of cleaning up car accidents… there’s lots of times that we get to a scene and realise that there’s not much to do… we just have to clean up. And, when we do get fires... well, there’s a lot of waiting… we have to wait around afterwards to make sure that nothing reignites.”

But Hallie wasn’t letting him go so easily. She understood his modesty, she respected it, but she just wanted him to realise how special he was, “You’re putting your life in danger… I’m not.”

For once, Casey’s anxiety didn’t overwhelm him. He didn’t feel as though he’d mishandled the situation, he didn’t feel as though he’d said the wrong thing. He wasn’t questioning himself; he knew that Hallie wasn’t really comparing him, that she was just being unbelievably kind. He didn’t feel the need to apologise immediately, didn’t feel as though he had to make anything up to her. Instead, he leant across, gently kissing her head, “They’re both noble professions.”

Unable to hide her smile, she leant over, pressing her lips into his. Casey returned it, rolling onto his side so they were facing each other.

Slowly, Hallie pulled away, bright eyes searching Matt’s face, “So, what about you? I told you why I wanted to be a doctor… why did you want to be a firefighter?”

Casey froze, and his eyes misted over. Briefly, Hallie worried that she’d said the wrong thing, that she’d somehow gone too far. But then, Casey smiled. A timid smile, just pulling at the corners of his lips. Hallie continued to wait, knowing that he needed time to gather his thoughts.

“There were a few components… a few reasons…”

His voice was distant, but Hallie also got the impression that it was the most honest that they’d ever been.

“I wanted to help people… I always did. I… helping people… when it was with a question in school… or whatever… I always knew that I was doing the right thing. I didn’t have to read social cues, because they’d thank me… and I knew that I liked being helped when I needed it, so, so did they…” He wasn’t nervous talking about his autism, he wasn’t ashamed. Not when it was someone who understood him and cared about him. And he’d maintained eye contact with Hallie the entire time, open and honest.

Hallie nodded, unable to hide her slight smile. His timid smile returned, and Casey shrugged lightly as he kept going, “But like you said, there’s a lot of ways to help people… there was a few things that I could do, and I didn’t know which one I wanted to pick.”

He tailed off, and she was now confident that she was getting into deeper territory, “That was when I was really little… I wanted to be a teacher… then a doctor helped me, so I wanted to do that… I went through a couple of phases… random things… then my building got evacuated.”

He licked his lips, glancing back up at Hallie, “I was scared… but there was something about the flashing lights that I just… loved. And one of the firefighters picked me up, started talking to me… they were all so confident, so brave. I wanted to be like them.”

Hallie would be lying if she said that emotion wasn’t overwhelming her, and she reached out and took his hand. But Casey was now beaming, clearly caught up in memories, but positive ones, “I started reading books about firefighters, dressing up as them… I wanted to be one so badly. A teacher took me to a fire station, and I got to see all the trucks… I loved it. I really wanted it.”

They both had tears welling in their eyes, and Casey gave her a huge smile, “It never went away… my goal was always to apply for the academy… and eventually, I got there. I got where I wanted to be… even if it wasn’t the hardest thing to get into, or anything… it was what I had always worked towards.”

By now, Hallie couldn’t stop the tears sliding down her face. She was proud of him, happy for him, but Casey’s recount had also been so honest, so pure, that she couldn’t stop the intense emotion overwhelming her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been in a weird headspace recently, and have gone back to school... was in the mood to write tonight though so here it is :)


	5. Caring

Severide glanced across the bench, watching carefully as Hallie and Casey stood next to each other. They were both making pancakes, working together in perfect sync. Hallie had already cut up the fruit to put on them, and Severide had to admit that the spread looked amazing.

He couldn’t wait.

But he was also aware that he had to say something, had to bring it up with Hallie. Part of him was tempted to let it go, but it just had to be done.

Casey was grinning, joyful as they continued to mix the batter. Severide almost felt bad that he was going to destroy it… but now was as good a time as any.

“Hey, Hallie. Did Casey tell you that he won an award?”

Hallie positively lit up, turning to Casey to congratulate her boyfriend. But the blonde was pre-occupied with scowling at his friend. Severide had known how he felt about this, and he wished that his friend had respected him.

Letting his anger show, he glared at him, “Shut up, Sev.”

But Kelly chose to be undaunted by the anger. He’d expected it. He’d known exactly how Casey was going to react. Knowing from experience how to diffuse his friend’s frustration, he shrugged apologetically, “I was just checking, Case… didn’t know that you hadn’t said anything.”

But that had been a lie, and Casey knew it. Severide had known that he wouldn’t‘ve said anything. When the letter had arrived, they had all assumed that it was to do with his medical leave. It hadn’t occurred to any of them that it would be any different, so Andy and Severide had continued to converse between them.

But then Casey had scanned the contents, before putting the letter back in its envelope, placing it on the table and walking away. He’d retreated to his room, closing the door quietly and throwing himself on his bed.

And though Casey’s reaction had been quiet – subdued, even – they had both known what the reaction meant. It was actually the worst one he could have given, indicating a poor mental state. So, it had worried them greatly.

And their minds had slipped straight to the worst, thinking that it had to be truly bad for Casey to react like that.

Darden hadn’t even paused before taking the letter, sliding the paper out of the envelope and quickly scanning it.

They’d then been surprised – and some weird combination of ecstatic – when they’d learnt that Casey was getting a Unit Performance Award.

And then confused.

They’d both gone and knocked on his door – Darden being the one to speak – but after receiving no response, had retreated. It was getting less and less common, but Casey sometimes still needed alone time to process things. They knew that he’d come to them when he was ready, when his thoughts were in order.

Sure enough, he’d come out of his room an hour later, apologizing for his behaviour. He explained that he didn’t deserve the award, that he hadn’t done enough. Someone else deserved it more, they should be the one receiving it.

And while both Andy and Kelly had disagreed wholeheartedly – even without knowing exactly _why_ Casey was receiving the award – they heard him out. While Casey knew that his receiving the award wasn’t necessarily going to stop anyone else from getting it – it wasn’t like Chicago put a limit on how many were handed out – he didn’t want the ceremony. He didn’t want older firefighters judging him for having it, he didn’t want to be the _candidate receiving the award_.

He didn’t want the fuss.

As usual, Andy was better at the emotional stuff as he worked to convince Casey that no one would judge him, and that it was perfectly fine for him to accept it. But he also got the impression that there was somehting else; something deeper that was bugging Casey.

And luckily, their friend just came out and said it.

He didn’t want to be getting an award just because of his autism.

The statement didn’t stun either of them. As wrong as they believed it to be – there was no way that they were giving Casey an award because he was autistic, there was just no way that it even came into play – they knew how their friend’s mind worked. Every time he had gotten a high mark in the academy – in the few instances that there hadn’t been a streamlined marking process – Casey had believed that he’d received preferential treatment. He’d put himself down, thinking that teachers were just trying to encourage him because of his disability.

And perhaps there had been some truth in it at some point. In elementary school, Casey had been encouraged when others hadn’t. Teachers had known that they needed to be more direct with him. And all it had taken was Casey picking up on it once – or rather, a bully mocking him and calling it out – and it had solidified in his mind. He wasn’t able to see the subtle differences between the academy teachers and his school ones, and his mind had the habit of assuming the worst.

And they’d both had to resist the urge to hug him. Because Casey’s belief spoke to how little confidence he had.

As it was, they’d both sat opposite him, talking through his feelings until they were able to convince Casey to at least accept the award. And that had been a miracle enough, because they all knew that once Casey got something caught in his head, it was near impossible to convince him otherwise. No matter how much he believed and trusted his friends, he just couldn’t see past his inner demons – so even if Casey wasn’t as proud as they thought he should be, accepting the award was a start.

And hopefully, with time, he’d come around.

But given the glare he was fixing Severide with, that time hadn’t come around yet.

Hallie seemed to realise that there was something more to the situation. She glanced between them, deciding to take a back seat until she had a better idea of what was going on.

“Really, Case. This award is a good thing.”

Casey just shook his head, looking his friend up and down, “It’s embarrassing.”

Severide just shrugged, shaking his head lightly, “It’s not embarrassing, Case. It’s an honour. You should be _honoured._ ”

But Casey just dropped his gaze, tightening his jaw and letting out a light huff. He actually understood why Severide thought that he should be honoured, because he knew that Severide had never been treated like he had. Severide had never been mocked, nor treated differently – and he was thankful for that, really. It wasn’t Severide’s fault, but it didn’t change the fact that Severide didn’t understand.

Severide’s voice broke through his thoughts, startling him, “I mean it, Casey. You should be proud. You really should.”

But the blonde was now done with the conversation. He glanced back down at the meal he’d been preparing, his eyes misting over as he felt the happiness eb away. He knew that Kelly had meant the best, but it didn’t stop his chest tightening. He felt the need to get out; but he didn’t just want to run away in front of Hallie.

Glancing up to his girlfriend, he only saw concern in her features. He took a steady breath, preparing to say something that he hadn’t for a long time – not since he’d got better at controlling his emotions; “I need a break.”

And then he turned on his heel, heading down the hall.

As soon as he’d gone, Severide let out a breath he didn’t know that he’d been holding. He already knew that Darden was going to come home and hit him over the head for the way he’d handled the entire situation. But then, things like this seemed to come naturally to Andy, something that he’d never been blessed with.

He turned back to Hallie, trying to get a read on her emotions. She was clearly concerned about Casey, but she also seemed to know that she should try to work out what was happening before she crowded him. Severide had to admit that he liked that about her – obviously she was intelligent, she was a doctor, after all – but she definitely had emotional intelligence.

Suddenly feeling especially inadequate, Kelly ran a hand over his head. He tried to tell himself that Hallie wasn’t judging him, but it was hard to convince himself, “Guess I messed that up… sorry…”

To Hallie’s credit, she just shrugged, more concerned with getting back to Matt than anything else, “It’s okay… I know that it can be hard, sometimes… but what was this all about? Matt got an award?”

Severide sighed, nodding as he leant against the counter, “He did. He got a Unit Performance Award – basically, recognition of brave action on the job. He doesn’t think that he deserves it…”

Hallie nodded. That much had already been clear, and Severide knew that he had to go into more detail, “Case thinks that he got the award because he has autism… but Andy and I think that’s a total load of crap. He got it because he deserved it… even if we don’t exactly know why.”

If he’d been expecting Hallie to be confused by Casey’s reasoning, he was disappointed. If anything, she seemed as though she’d been expecting it. Not that that stopped the sympathy flashing across her face, “He’s been thinking that since he got the award?”

“Since he opened the letter, yeah… Andy and I at least convinced him to accept it, but he’s clearly still struggling with it… we were just gonna give him time, but well… ceremony’s in a week.”

Seeming thoughtful, Hallie nodded again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Time was the best thing for him, that was true, but she was still determined to talk to him, “You said that he got the award for bravery… could that be anything? Could it be over a particular rescue?”

Severide confirmed, adding that it was likely to be over a single rescue.

“So, could it have been over saving his Captain? Seemed pretty intense when Matt told me about it.”

That had stumped him, “What call?”

She frowned, but only for a second, “When he broke his arm… apparently, he was with his Captain, and he saw a beam coming down… it would have hit him in his head, so he jumped in the way and raised an arm… that’s how he broke it.”

Kelly just continued to stare at her, agape. Not only because Casey’s actions had been so stupid and heroic that he just knew they were true – not that he’d thought for a second that Casey would lie – but because he’d told _Hallie._ He and Darden both had pestered the blonde about how he’d broke his arm, but each time, Matt had just given them his trademarked shy smile and shrugged. Nothing, _nothing_ , had even hinted to him saving his captain.

Misreading Kelly’s shock, Hallie quickly stepped in, “The break was consistent with what he’d said… was definatly blunt force trauma.”

“No, not that… just… didn’t know what had happened, that’s all.”

Hallie nodded in understanding, “Yeah, he didn’t really want to tell me… definitely tried sugarcoating it. Said that any firefighter would do it… but obviously not, if he’s got an award?”

The excitement had crept back into Hallie’s tone, though she was clearly still concerned about the blonde. But no matter how much Severide wanted to be excited, he couldn’t move past the pang that had gone through him as soon as he’d found out that Hallie knew more than him.

“I’m going to go and check on him… if that’s all.”

Now distracted with his thoughts, Kelly nodded, staring at the bowl of pancake batter. He was relieved when Hallie moved off, because his eyes were starting to glaze over with tears.

* * *

Hallie knocked once before opening the door, peering into Casey’s room. She wasn’t surprised when she saw that the blonde was on his bed, sitting upright with a pillow hugged to his chest. His head was down – face buried in the pillow – but he raised it as soon as he heard her.

He looked sheepish, and not too upset. Hallie just gave him a kind smile as she moved towards him, gently perching herself on the edge of the bed. Casey did his best to return the smile, though it was muted out of embarrassment, “Sorry.”

Hallie just shook her head, “No need to apologise. You did nothing wrong. You okay?”

The blonde nodded, but Hallie was smart enough to see that he was still upset. Moving closer, she brushed against his side, relieved when Casey leant towards her. Now knowing that contact was the right thing, she softly wrapped an arm around his waist, leaning against his strong shoulder, “Talk to me, Matty… what’s bothering you?”

Of course, she already knew, but she needed to hear it from the blonde’s mouth. For a moment, she felt Casey stiffen against her, before he sighed, “It’s silly… I know it is… but I can’t… can’t help but think that the only reason they’re giving me this award is because I’m autistic…”

He trailed off, and Hallie shifted so she was looking up at him. He was frowning – his usual adorable furrowed brow, and Hallie just waited, “It’s… I know that I should be grateful, I know… and I… am? I think… but I don’t want this to happen again… I don’t want people to know that I’m different…”

There were a few things that Casey’s statement had brought up, but one really stood out – and that was his anxiety. She wasn’t surprised. Everyone had that worry – no one wanted to be different. But it made sense that the fear was escalated in Casey. Because even though everyone _was_ different, Casey was perhaps a little more so. And she was also aware that Casey often had no idea _how_ different he seemed. He did his best to adhere to social norms, but there were just times that he wasn’t aware of them. And Hallie loved him for it, but she could also see that it was something he had to deal with.

And for the most part, he seemed to be able too. Given that it was the first time she’d heard about it, she hoped that it meant he wasn’t consumed with those thoughts. Though, he had just confirmed one thing – and that was that he’d been trained in the past.

Hating that knowledge – even if she’d already expected it to some extent – Hallie leant over, lightly grasping his casted arm. Casey immediately responded to her touch, turning so his face was pressed in her hair.

“It’s not silly, Matt… not silly at all. And I understand why you feel that way… I do…”

Casey pulled away, surveying her for a second, before dropping her gaze. He sounded mournful and confused as he mumbled, “You don’t understand…”

Hallie’s heart skipped a beat. His tone had felt like a punch in the stomach; but not because it had hurt her, because he had sounded so defeated. She ran her tongue over her lips, taking a slow breath as she tightened her grip on his hand, “You’re right… I don’t. But I want to try.”

Slowly, Casey glanced back up, once again scrutinizing her as he thought. He hated it when his memories overwhelmed him, especially when it related to school. And he found it difficult to talk about, because he knew that he should be over them. But it just wasn’t that easy. They were hard to move past; not because he’d never understood them, but because they’d hurt him so badly.

But he knew that Hallie cared, and it gave him the confidence to take a breath. He sighed, before shrugging the shoulder that Hallie wasn’t leaning against, “In elementary school… I had a friend. We were really close, and we, uh… went everywhere together.”

Casey’s good hand found her hair, his fingers automatically entwining themselves in her brown locks. He started fiddling with it, only tugging lightly and causing her no pain, “And because of my autism… the teachers always had to be a little clearer with what they were saying, and they used to praise me over nothing... Which was fine, no one cared… it was just part of what happened. He also used to explain things when I needed… which was helpful.”

“Then, we went to middle school… and I was really excited because we were going to be in the same class. I was scared enough going to a new place, but I had him there, so it was fine…”

He frowned, clearly overwhelmed with memories. Hallie just knew to wait, but she started rubbing soothing circles for measure.

“And we got to the class… I wrote something incorrectly, and the teacher corrected me… the next time, I did it right, and the teacher congratulated me in front of everyone… and then this new kid started calling me ‘Teacher’s Pet’.”

By now, Casey was biting his lip. His eyes were far away, tortured and sad. Hallie hated to see him so upset, but she had no idea what to say, “Pretty soon the whole class did… and then, my friend… started becoming more distant.”

“He didn’t really talk to me at school anymore… just during class. At lunch I sat alone… his mum invited me for a sleep over, and I went…”

He trailed off again, and Hallie could see the tears now in his eyes. She didn’t get a chance to say anything, though, because Casey swallowed down tears, “When we were getting into bed… he told me… not to tell anyone that I’d visited him. Not to tell anyone that we were friends… because he didn’t want anyone to know.”

Hallie’s heart utterly shattered, and she couldn’t stop herself wrapping her arms around him. At first, the blonde tensed, but he quickly understood that her action had been loving. He quickly returned the hug, breathing in Hallie’s scent.

“Oh, Matt… I’m so sorry…”

Managing a weak shrug, Casey just leant into her grasp. It was a few minutes before he was ready to speak, “I know that it wasn’t that bad… that I should be over it… and worse things happened after, but… I mean, I knew that he’d left because I was different and… it was the first time I’d seen it as a problem. I don’t _want_ people to notice again, because even if they’re kind… they… they go.”

Hallie honestly had no idea what to say, in fact, she was almost holding tears back. She’d had utterly no idea that Casey was this anxious, nor that he’d had such an awful experience. And he’d sounded so worried to even be talking about it, seemingly being hard on himself for something that had been out of his control.

“That’s just terrible, Matt… just terrible. And I’m so sorry that it happened to you… you hadn’t done anything wrong; it wasn’t fair.”

Matt just shrugged, half wishing that he hadn’t said anything. He was still embarrassed, over what had happened all those years though, and that it was still affecting him now.

And Hallie must have read his thoughts, because she pulled away, resting one hand on his shoulder, “I mean it, Matt… I’m so sorry that that happened to you… it wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t have happened… you didn’t deserve it.”

Casey shifted, moving until his head was resting on her shoulder. He dropped her hand, moving his hand instead so he was playing with Hallie’s hair, “It was a long time ago… and I know that I should be over it… but I don’t want it happening again.”

Hallie thought that she understood. Matt had been rewarded in the past when others hadn’t, and kids – being jealous kids – had teased him over it. And even though he did deserve the award this time, he had no way of confirming it. He struggled to know when people were being genuine, and there was nothing to tell him that this one was. And the potential consequence from getting an award that he didn’t deserve – was exclusion.

She’d thought that her heart couldn’t break again, but it did. Doing her best to hide the tears that had sprung to her eyes, she moved her free hand to his knee, “Oh, Matty… it’s not going to happen again… it’s not… it’s not going to happen because you _did_ deserve the award… you saved your captain, baby… so you deserved it, and no one would think otherwise.”

Casey remained silent, and Hallie knew that she had to try again. She didn’t know as much as she wanted about Casey’s social life – though she suspected that Matt’s main friends were Severide and Darden – but she knew one thing – and that was that he wasn’t alone.

“And it’s not going to happen again… it’s not, Matty… because you’ve got so many people who care about you… and we’re not gonna leave. Not at all, Matty… not at all.”

* * *

Andy kicked the door shut behind him, whistling to himself as he walked through the apartment. But the whistling stopped the second he stuck his head in the kitchen, smile fading from his face. It wasn’t like the scene was _bad_ – just pancake batter being left out – but it was also highly unusual. Severide not finishing the pancakes and Casey not licking the bowl? _That_ didn’t happen.

Quick as lightening, he glanced around, eyes eventually finding Severide on the couch. The young man looked haggard, and Darden was hit with a wave of worry. Casey and Severide had only ever had one real argument – and it hadn’t lasted long. Casey was extremely forgiving, and Severide – despite his demeanor – was truly patient. They’d sorted themselves out within the hour, and Andy found it hard to believe that they were at odds now.

Severide must have been able to read his thoughts, because he didn’t even need to turn around as he murmured, “He’s fine, with Hallie.”

Kelly’s voice was lost – an emotion that was rare from the stoic man. Knowing that Severide needed him more, Andy moved across the room, flinging himself over the back of the couch. He landed beside Severide, turning to him and waiting.

“I told Hallie about his award… Casey didn’t react so well.”

Darden was in two minds. On one hand, he wanted to comfort Kelly. But on the other –

“You really should have let him tell her in his own time, Kelly. It was his business, his girlfriend.”

Groaning, Severide leant back and rolled his eyes. He knew that his friend was right, of course. Had he been the one receiving the award, he’d have wanted to tell people. But he hadn’t been able to help it, “I know… I just… I got excited… I wanted her to be proud of him.”

Andy sighed. He understood, of course he did, but Severide had still done the wrong thing, “I know… but he was already struggling with it. And you just pushed him when he wasn’t ready… doesn’t help him, Kelly.”

Kelly just nodded, hanging his head. And Darden honestly felt bad. He hadn’t wanted to come in and reprimand his friend, and he’d somehow managed it, “Not that I don’t understand why you did it… I wish that Casey would be proud as well. I don’t care what he says; he earned the award.”

Severide had been nodding absently, but Andy’s comment had reminded him of what he’d learnt earlier, “Oh, yeah… he saved his Captain. That’s why he’s getting an award.”

That hadn’t been expected, and Darden felt his eyes widen, “What?”

“He stopped a beam falling on his Captain… stuck an arm out to block it. That’s how he broke his arm. _That’s_ why he got an award.”

Darden didn’t say anything for a moment, because after the initial shock had faded, he wasn’t surprised. Of course, Casey had done something so heroic, and of course he hadn’t wanted to admit it after. He’d just been shocked that the blonde had admitted it, “He told you?”

Severide shook his head, “Hallie told me… he told her.”

He hadn’t intended to sound bitter, but he had. And Andy didn’t say anything for a moment, before he sighed, “It’s going to be like that, Kelly… he has a girlfriend now, and he feels like he can confide in her… isn’t that what you wanted?”

And it _was_ what he wanted… of course it was. He wanted nothing more than for his friend to find happiness – but he still couldn’t hide his hurt. He cared so much for the blonde, and he had to admit that he liked being the one to look after the blonde.

But he didn’t get a chance to respond, because they heard the sounds of Casey’s door opening further down the hall. The blonde’s laughter reverberated towards them, followed by Hallie’s giggle. Darden grinned as he leapt up, and Severide did his best to force a smile.

The two emerged into the kitchen, both immediately greeting Darden. There was nothing to imply that Casey had been upset, the blonde’s eyes sparkling with their usual excitement.

The three of them moved to the kitchen bench, lighting the stove and starting to cook the pancakes. Severide wasn’t even aware of what was happening, barely aware as the smell of pancakes drifted around him. He was preoccupied with staring at the blank television, once again lost in his thoughts.

He almost jumped out of his skin, then, when Casey sat down beside him, hands nervously rubbing up and down his thighs. The blonde was clearly worried about him, eyes wide as he surveyed his friend, “I’m sorry, Kel… I didn’t mean to react so badly. I didn’t want to hurt you… I should have handled it better. I’m sorry.”

And Kelly couldn’t stop himself melting at the apology. He couldn’t be annoyed at his friend if he tried, “S’okay, Case… I’m sorry I was an idiot, I shouldn’t have said anything… it was your place, not mine.”

Casey just grinned back, only appearing nervous for another moment, “So… we’re both good?”

Smiling, Severide leant over and clasped his hand, “Yeah, we are, bud.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't want to inflict any pain on Casey in this fic... but I just couldn't help it. I was once told by a 'friend' not to tell anyone that she had come for a sleepover... and I never forgot it. Never. And I don't think that I ever will.


	6. announcement

So, this has been a difficult week for me. I've weighed up removing this story, all of my stories, and trying to delete this all and pretend that it didn't happen. But I've ultimately made the decision that it needs to stay here - and after a tough decision I'm not even going to change it. People need to understand what words can do, how badly they can hurt. This is by no means meant as an attack, but words are powerful - something that any writer understands. 

It is not anybody's job to assume my neuro-function. For that matter, my neuro-function is not anybody but my business. It does not affect you that I am neurodiverse - at least, it shouldn't. I have my own reasons for not wanting to share why I feel that way; they are not your business either. And yes, you're free to judge quietly... I am by no means going to stop you. But making an assumption and writing a hurtful comment as Alex did; that is a step too far. That isn't okay, cyber bullying never is. I ended up in tears for two days, unable to do much other than panic. Making someone feel that way is not okay. I am more than happy to review aspects of this (or any of my) fic, but an attack isn't the way to go about it. 

All people with autism are different. This is based off my experience; but yes, if you feel that parts could be deemed harmful, by all means, I will try to fix it. Additionally, this panic is also likely to do with anxiety... not saying anyone with autism would panic this badly. But words - and assumptions for that matter - can do much more harm than good. 

Maybe I will remove this entire chapter later, but for now, it's here. 

> hey
> 
> so apparently this story has offended and hurt people, which was obviously never my intention. This is all based off my own experience having ADD and autism, nothing's fake (except Hallie's kinda my mum because I don't have a girlfriend). 
> 
> I do rely on people around me to help me, cause I have very severe social anxiety. That's come through in the fic, but I never meant for Casey to be helpless or clueless or pathetic or whatever people are seeing him as. Maybe that means I'm sad and pathetic... that's all I've understood anyway. I prefer to have people familiar to me when I'm in a conversation, and I absolutely miss social cues. I never used to sit down with people unless they explicitly asked, because I didn't know if it was okay or not. Even now, when work mates go to MacDonalds, I need to be asked or ask permission, because my assumption is that i'm not invited. 
> 
> Autism isn't a tragedy, maybe I'm the tragedy
> 
> i don't know
> 
> reading everything until now helped me come to terms with everything but maybe I’m still wrong or too unwell to do this I don’t knwo
> 
> But I get very good grades at school, I have a job. In fact, I'm good at my job - I get requested quite a lot at one, and they're training me to be manager at the other. I have no issues looking after myself, but it takes me a while to warm up to people. 
> 
> Uh i don't really know what I'm saying. I didn't meant to upset anyone, and I feel so terrible that i did. I'm going to remove this fic and 'red instead' (jigsaw) and I'm not sure if im going to remove everything else yet. I know that some people liked these fics so they can download them if they want. i didn't make to make everyone as pathetic as i am nad im sorry. 
> 
> Still sorting through my head, its been very stressful lately. Dunno when I'll decide what else is getting removed, even watching the show upsets me now i dont know how much I'll be writing anymore


	7. Humble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to believe that it's been a month since I last updated this, especially given that it was almost written. I know that if I don't update it at some point, I never will, so I'm going to do it now - at least I can get away with being overwhelmingly nauseous for a few hours. 
> 
> If you find a part of my fic offensive - or are even worried that it's detrimental to the perception of autism - please tell me, but nicely. It's based off my own experience - but I've also crammed years of shit into a couple of chapters... Casey has lots of successes in this fic, I'm sorry if I haven't shown them enough... 
> 
> Uh... I think I'll post it rather than keep rambling... I might take it down later, I don't know, but the words of support I've had over the last month have gone a long way in helping me, and are the only reason I'm still on the Archive. And thank you to the others who have been supporting me... you know who you are.

Matt was perched on the edge of the gurney, lightly swinging his legs as he watched Hallie work. She was only gathering supplies, but he couldn’t help but stare at her – he loved her in her lab coat, loved the way it fitted around her form. And her hair was silky, just brushed, cascading down her back in smooth waves. And she was so focused… she always bit her lip when she was focused… and her eyes became even more intense, brows creasing slightly…

Hallie turned around, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Casey staring. No man had ever looked at her like that; not with that intense look of love. She broke into a grin – blinking back the tears that had come to her eyes – and moved over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He just smiled back, pulling her onto his lap and bringing him in.

Without needing to look, he pressed his lips into Hallie’s, both of them enjoying the kiss. They only stopped when they both needed to pull up for air, and Hallie smiled as she looked at him, unable to believe how perfect he looked in a baggy sweater and jeans, “Want to get your cast off?”

Matt just grinned, nodding as he stuck his arm out, “Please.”

Technically, it was another week before Matt’s cast should be coming off. But the blonde had the award ceremony coming up in a few days, and Hallie hadn’t seen any real issue in taking it off early. The X-ray had shown that the bones were healing together nicely, and Casey had promised to be careful. He’d also agreed – somewhat reluctantly – to wear a brace as often as possible and she, Andy and Kelly had all reminded him that they’d be watching – Casey wouldn’t be able to get away with doing anything stupid.

Setting the oscillating saw on the bed beside him, Hallie gently pulled his sleeve up, stroking the back of his fingers as she went. Casey had managed to keep his cast remarkably clean, but it was starting to show signs of wear. The marker was smudged, alpaca-llama face forever blurred, and the corners were starting to chip off. It hadn’t got to the point where it stunk yet, but they never smelled good.

Gently taking his arm, Hallie turned on the oscillating saw and prepared to make a cut. There was a generic speech that she was trained to do, and without really thinking, she started it, “This is an oscillating saw… it will cut the cast, but not your arm…”

The blonde just grinned, smirking as he watched Hallie. She was so focused again, and he was resisting the urge to kiss her. He knew that the saw was harmless, of course, but he liked hearing her talk. She was adorable, after all.

She finished the first cut – the whole way down the cast – and took his hand again, gently rotating his arm to get to the other side, “Under the cast there’ll be a lot of dead skin. Looks bad, but it’s totally normal.”

This time, he hummed, utterly smitten as he nodded, “I know… I’ve had a cast cut off before.”

That had surprised her, and Hallie’s eyebrows shot up as she glanced down at him, “Oh, I didn’t know that you’d broken something before?”

He just shrugged, unfazed a she pressed the saw a little harder, “When I was little, I broke my leg. Had a cast for… eight weeks, I think?”

Hallie winced. Eight weeks meant a bad break – or at least one in a vulnerable place. Kids would sometimes have them on for extra time to make sure they didn’t put too much strain on their bones too early; but they also healed quickly. Eight weeks was a long time, “Ouch. How did you manage that?”

The blonde didn’t respond for a moment, and when he did, his voice was far away, “Oh… uh, accident at home… I was clumsy.”

His tone had sent a pang of fear into her, and Hallie glanced up as she searched for the right words to respond. But right in that moment, they heard a crack and the saw started whirring higher. Glancing down, she saw that she’d cut through the last of the cast, and it was now separated into two pieces. Casey straightened up – the haunted look leaving his eyes – and the moment was gone.

Expertly, she pried the cast apart, removing the two sections from his arm. Some of the padding remained, clinging to his skin – which, as Hallie had predicted, was largely dead – and an awful smell filled the room.

Casey grimaced, wrinkling his nose, “Eugh.”

Hallie just chuckled, gently clearing the padding stuck to his arm, “Forgot to mention that part…”

“Nah… I remember. I’m just sorry that you have to smell it… s’gross.”

She was only able to chuckle at that, softly kissing him on the head, “It’s okay, not your fault. And I’ve had worse; trust me. Much worse. I once had a patient with a cast around his hips… he’d spilt coffee down it, and then poured milk to try to cool it off. _That_ stunk… I’ll never forget it.”

Casey couldn’t stop his eyes widening in horror, mouth dropping open as he stared at her, “That sounds awful!”

She just shrugged, gently wiping his arm down, before tossing the cloths into a bin, “He was a lovely guy, very apologetic… police officer. He was shot in the line of duty, we ended up talking about one of the restaurants in downtown Chicago. How does your arm feel? Any pain?”

The blonde shook his head, mirroring Hallie’s movements and stating that he felt no pain. His wrist did feel weak – and it had clicked a few times – but Hallie reassured him that it was to be expected. He just needed to build back up his muscle strength with the exercises she’d prescribed him.

“And put the brace on now… you’d be surprised at how quickly your wrist will tire.”

Casey pouted, but obliged, allowing Hallie to tighten the straps. He flexed his fingers when he was done – the brace was far lighter than the cast, and more breathable. He did have slight motion in his wrist – but only if he pushed hard.

“Don’t do that.”

He pouted again, but still with a smirk on his lips. He glanced up at Hallie, before leaning up and once again kissing her.

* * *

Hallie watched in awe at the sight. Casey might have been right; this was clearly a small ceremony, but that didn’t demerit the effort that had gone into the event. One of the firetrucks – which Hallie assumed was an engine, given that Casey had said that was what he worked on – was in the driveway, an American Flag secured to the front. A small podium had been set up, where Casey’s chief and Captain stood. The rest of the company was standing in front, hands clasped behind their backs, legs shoulder width apart. Everyone was in dress blues, and the sight was impressive.

Hallie was off to one side, standing with Severide and Darden. The two candidates were in casual clothes, smiling proudly at their brother. There were a couple of other women – who Hallie presumed were partners of the firefighters – as well as a mother and her son.

The company of firefighters stood to attention, before saluting. They then stood back at ease, and Casey stepped up onto the stage. Hallie thought that he looked perfect in his dress blues – the uniform was tight in all the right places, and it celebrated his figure. He looked serious as he saluted first his Chief, and then Captain, before the ceremony started.

For the most part, Casey just had to stand there as his superior officers spoke. They explained the significance of the award, as well as Casey’s distinction and performance in the academy. And as proud as Hallie had been in those moments, it wasn’t until Casey’s Captain started speaking that she’d realised just how proud she should be.

Casey’s expression hadn’t changed as his Captain had stepped up, but she’d been able to see the smile in his eyes. The Captain took the stand and cleared his throat, before surveying each member of the audience, “I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for Candidate Casey, and that’s not an exaggeration. Had Casey not thrown himself in the way of a falling beam, it would have hit me in the head. Never have I seen a candidate so bravely risk his life, nor have I seen one so valiantly deal with pain.”

He paused, looking around the audience, “Despite his broken wrist, Candidate Casey checked that I was alright, and helped me up from where I had fallen. He assessed the situation while I was getting my bearings and called for the ariel to be raised. His judgement was impeccable. He wasted no time as he dragged me to the window, and had it not been his dominant hand that was broken – I don’t think that I would have noticed until we were on the ground. As it was, Candidate Casey insisted on waiting until all the victims had been attended to before allowing himself to be seen. I’ve never seen such bravery in a candidate, nor such potential. I strongly believe that Casey will rise through the ranks, and it’s an honour to be bestowing this award on him. I look forwards to seeing his career as a firefighter progress.”

A huge grin was covering Hallie’s face, tears sliding down her cheeks. She was so proud. _So_ proud. Casey still had the same stoic expression on, but she could see from his eyes that… no, he wasn’t _proud_ , but he also wasn’t embarrassed. He was… humbled. That was the only word that Hallie could think of. And that only made her happier – pride could be such an unbecoming trait, but being humbled? That was truly noble.

The award was pinned to Casey’s chest and everyone dispersed. The blonde was now grinning openly, shaking hands with his Captain and Chief. The other firefighters had drifted over to him, and Casey easily started conversing with them, laughing and joking with clear confidence.

She smiled as she quietly slipped over to Andy and Kelly, glad to see that the other candidates looked as satisfied as she was. She still had no real idea of how significant the award was, but she got the sense from them that Matt had done extremely well. Neither of them had any awards pinned to their chest, after all, and as Hallie peered at the other firefighters, she noticed that they didn’t either.

She’d always known that Casey was good, but _damn_ she was impressed with her boy.

It was a while before Casey even looked at her, the blonde utterly beaming. She moved over to him, smiling as he reached out an arm, and wrapped it around her shoulders, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Hallie grinned in response, curling into his warmth, “Congratulations, baby…”

Casey just grinned, making sure that she was comfortable, “Thanks… thank you for coming.”

He’d said it as though the two things were equitable – his receiving an award for risking his life for his Captain, and her turning up at a ceremony. But she allowed it, content to lean against him and lazily join into his conversations. He was quick to introduce her to the other firefighters, who all shook her hand. They all seemed to be stand-up citizens, which shouldn’t have surprised her, because she always tried to assume the best in people, but she couldn’t help but be relieved.

They were all talking to each other for a few minutes – Casey subbing in the information he knew she wouldn’t know – when the mother and her son came back over. The son went straight to Casey’s chief, wrapping his arms around his legs. The Chief grinned, fondly ruffling his son’s hair before nodding to Casey, “This is my son, James. I don’t think you’ve met yet.”

Casey shook his head that he hadn’t, before kneeling down, getting to James’ level, “Hi James, I’m Matt.”

James looked up at him with wide eyes, glancing up to his dad, before glancing back to Matt, “Hi, Matt. I think it’s really cool that you won an award.”

Hallie’s blonde candidate just smiled, before sitting fully down and crossing his legs, “Yeah? You know your dad has won a lot of awards.”

The boy just nodded, glancing up at his father once again before looking to Matt, “I want to be a firefighter.”

Casey smiled, “I think you’d make a good one.”

But James just shook his head, hanging it as he looked down to the ground, “I can’t be a firefighter. I have autism.”

Matt’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before concern flooded them. He glanced up discreetly to his Chief, seeing that the man looked just as concerned. That idea hadn’t come from the Chief’s mouth, then.

Before his superior had a chance to say anything, Casey just smiled lightly, shrugging his shoulders, “I’m autistic.”

James froze, eyes widening as he glanced up, “You are?”

Casey nodded, popping the p as he spoke, “Yup. Ask your dad.”

James glanced up, getting an affirming nod from his father, who was looking much more relaxed at the situation. The boy looked back to Casey in utter awe, “And you can be a firefighter? You’re a hero?”

The blonde nodded again, though he’d blushed at the word hero, “I can… it wasn’t always easy, but I’ve always wanted to do it… but do you know what? There’re other heroes. Has your dad ever told you about Arson Investigations?”

James paused, thinking deeply, “I heard him mention it one time on the phone, when I was little. I don’t know what they do though. What do they do?”

Casey smiled, “Arson investigations go in and look at the fires after they’ve been put out… they know everything. They can see from the burn patterns what started the fire, where it started… if had been deliberately lit. They’re basically geniuses… and they’re heroes too. I was going to try to do that if I couldn’t get into the fire academy.”

James’ eyes widened a fraction, clearly interested, “That’s so cool.”

Matt smiled, nodding “It certainly is.”

They chatted a little longer, James hanging onto every one of Casey’s words. He seemed to be utterly in awe of the firefighter, something that Casey managed to take humbly. They spoke about James’ school, his science project, and Casey told him a little more about Arson Investigations. They’d been talking for a good half-hour before James’ mum came back over, lightly tapping him on the shoulder and telling him that they were going to get lunch, “Bye, Matt.”

Matt stood, giving him a hi-five and smiling, “Next time you’ll have to tell me all about how your science project went!”

James was positively beaming, grinning from ear to ear, “I will, I promise! Bye, Matt!”

He watched as James walked back down the apron, still smiling to himself. Once they’d both gone – James giving him one last wave as he got in the car – Casey turned back to his Chief, spotting the man looking at him proudly, “Thanks, Matt. I had no idea he was feeling that way.”

Shrugging again – and being painfully modest – Casey just smiled, “It’s okay. I just hope I helped. And I meant it that I want to hear about his project… happy to talk to him whenever... about whatever.”

Casey’s Chief just stared at him for a moment, clearly slightly overwhelmed. And Matt seemed to be aware of that too, lightly smiling as he put his head to the side, “He’s a really great kid.”

Still unable to come up with words, the Chief stepped forwards, clapping Casey on the shoulder, “Thank you, Matt. Really.”

He sniffed, and cleared his throat, before turning back to the rest of the house, “Let’s all get to Shaw’s. Casey won’t be paying for anything tonight, and that’s an order.”

They all cheered, starting to move down the apron. Casey had just started to move with them, when Hallie attached herself to his arm, resting her chin against his shoulder, “You are so good, Matt.”

The blonde blushed lightly, shyly shrugging her comment off. He didn’t think that anything he’d done was a big deal. James had been a wonderful kid, and anything Casey could do to boost his confidence was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the police officer is Charles from Brooklyn 99. 
> 
> James' father is a fantastic dad, he's just not aware of every single one of James' thoughts. Think James is seven or eight or something. 
> 
> Again, if you feel something needs changing... yeah.
> 
> Thanks.


	8. Dedicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt proves that he's the best boyfriend ever, Hallie has concerns about her relationship with Kelly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm back to write this now... I think. In truth, I was kidding myself when I said I was over the whole 'Alex' situation. I thought I was, but I wasn't. It's almost been a year and their words still affect me, less so now, and I have FrankieFandom, Pall and casey_sevasey to thank (also, go and check out casey_sevasey's autistic Casey fic, it's great :) ). Part of being so affected by Alex is me needing to be more resilient, another part is them needing to check themselves. Never, ever, comment such unkind things on somebody elses art. You can have an opinion, but you should NEVER attack. It's not productive and not helpful. 
> 
> Further, their comment was actually deeply steeped in lateral ableism - and I think this was why it affected me on a personal level. Alex complained and cited things that make Casey seem 'immature' or 'clueless' or 'helpless'. This is so harmful. Many autistics - me included - struggle to read social signs, especially discreet ones. By attacking the Casey in the fic, you are also attacking me, and other autistics who have similar issues. And hurt feelings aside, it's actually so dangerous. I was never offered any education around keeping myself safe (other than like running on roads and not going with strangers but that was all mainstream things). I have been in dangerous situations, where the only reason I didn't end up worse off (let you figure out what that could mean) was because I had an allistic friend with me, or an autistic friend who had more education. By preaching that 'none' of us are vulnerable you put us in danger. You imply that education isn't necessary, and that's very, very dangerous. If you're autistic and you don't have these issues, consider yourself lucky, but DON'T make it harder for us who need the support to get it. Not all support needs are the same. 
> 
> Additionally, it's ableist to call Casey 'immature' for most of his behaviours. Certain parts of autism do seem like immaturity - but they aren't, or are only deemed 'immaturity' by neurotypical society, and complying with this is ableism. There's nothing wrong with special interests, and we should actually normalise their place in society. Casey's stimming is also NOT a sign of immaturity. It's exhausting to suppress stims, and honestly harmful. If an autistic person suppresses their stims, they can also end up being more violent (note: many stims aren't at all violent but can be self-injurious. Sometimes suppressing the more harmless ones can result in the action becoming more violent. This doesn't really account for the fact that the emotions/situations surrounding the stim can also change it's expression... but that's getting more complicated. In this chapter and next chapter, all of Casey's stimming is happy.). Point is that calling Casey a child or something for those behaviours is hurtful. I will not suppress them, and Casey will not either (well, there's a storyline about that, but the message is that he doesn't need too.)
> 
> I do not have to suppress my autistic traits to make you more comfortable, and nor does Matt, and neither of us will (sans for the storyline! Which is coming haha). 
> 
> I am also well aware of who 'Alex' actually was, and that they probably won't see this. But these things needed to be said. Partially because I need to say how much it all affected me, and also how the comments were DEEPLY problematic. Education around this is important, because it's the only way I'll ever (properely) be accepted. And it might not be in my lifetime, but if the next generation can grow up without the pain I went through, than it's worth it. 
> 
> I don't mean to sound aggressive with all of this, I really don't. I just want to get this message across. This is all a problem in society still, it's an issue that I hope I can address on a bigger scale one day. Please, ask me questions you have, and feel free to make comments on Casey's behaviours. If something does seem incorrect feel free to mention it, but I'd need specific examples. Please avoid functioning labels though, they're problematic and based in eugenics. We don't need them to have a conversation :)
> 
> And obviously, Casey doesn't reflect every single person on the autism spectrum. That would be impossible. He is one character but his personality is valid, and *largely* written from my experiences. Many of Casey's traits are relatable to a lot of autistic people, but that doesn't mean everyone. Autism isn't a linear spectrum, it's a colour palate with different shades. Your experiences are valid, as are mine. Please be pleasant, and I apologise if I came off as rough. I don't mean too at all (it's almost like I have a... communication disorder... hmm XD). 
> 
> With love and hope you enjoy as always xx excited to be publishing again :D
> 
> TL;DR more discussion about Alex's comment, lateral ableism. Feel free to comment your thoughts about fic but do so nicely, don't be a jerk and peace out.

Hallie flashed a grin as she spotted the young blonde waiting in the emergency room. He was clutching a white paper bag in one hand – grease soaking through the bottom – and as soon as he saw her, his grin grew ten-fold. His eyes lit up, and he quickly moved towards her, “Hey, Hals.”

She embraced him, leaning into his muscular form and inhaling his scent. He always had the lingering smell of smoke on him – a smell she now loved – and she buried her face into his neck, kissing him as she did, “Hey, Matty… how was shift?”

The blonde chuckled lightly before pulling away, shrugging a single shoulder, “Fine, typical… not many calls. I brought us burgers.”

She smiled at his predictable answer, knowing that there would be at least one interesting story, and that she just needed to dig in the right place. Taking his hand, she leant into his strong shoulder as she guided them to the tiny hospital garden. Garden was really a generous term – it was more a patch of grass and a park bench, but it was still a welcome relief from the noise and chaos of the ER.

Casey settled beside her, and – true to form – got her sorted with her burger before taking our his own. He set the carton of fries between them, taking a few and cramming them into his mouth, before unwrapping his burger and taking a big bite.

The blonde firefighter had returned to shift only a week prior, and Hallie finally understood how happy his career made him. It wasn’t that Casey had been _down_ while he’d been injured and on sick leave, but Hallie had clearly been able to see the obvious difference. He was just lighter, cheerier, and he constantly had that glimmer in his eye that he usually only saw when he looked at her.

Firefighting was clearly a part of who he was, and she was glad that he was finally back.

It _had_ meant that Casey was busier – especially given that he’d also started back up his construction business – but he was clearly experienced at managing his time, because he managed to bring her lunch at the hospital almost every day he wasn’t on shift. That made her smile – everything Matt did made her smile.

She took a big bite of her burger, unable to stop herself moaning at the taste. Casey had been the one to pick the joint; a tiny, decrepit shop near the hospital that she would have never dreamt of going to. But the blonde hadn’t judged the exterior; he’d smelt the burgers cooking and decided that they were worth a try.

And he’d been right.

She’d tried to bring her housemates to it since – after all, it was close to the hospital, cheap, and was convenient after a long and tiring shift – but they’d turned their noses up. She was starting to realise that – just how snobbish her friends could be. But it only made her respect Casey even more. He could be painfully reserved, but he was always kind.

 _So_ kind.

Hallie shivered lightly. In her excitement to leave the ED, she’d totally forgotten to bring her jacket, and the freezing air was starting to get to her. So, she leant into Casey. He was the perfect heater… he was so warm… and soft…

“Sorry, I didn’t realise that you weren’t wearing a jacket. Here –”

She felt him shift, no doubt preparing to stand and give her his. But she groaned and shook her head, holding onto him tighter and possessively, “No… I’d rather cuddle up to you.”

Casey smiled, letting out an amused snort as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “Okay.”

She ended up sitting on his lap, tucking her hands into his jacket. She felt slightly guilty about it, because she knew her hands were freezing, but Matt had just kissed her on the forehead and held her tighter.

\--

Three days later saw Hallie arriving at Matt’s apartment, excited to be spending her day off with him. It wasn’t too often that they got to spend the entire day together, so she was going to make the most of it.

Andy had grinned at her as he’d let her in, and Hallie had been glad to notice that he was dressed in his bunker gear. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the other two candidates – because she did, even if they didn’t always seem to be the best influence on her boyfriend – but she was looking forwards to spending the day with Matt alone.

She walked through to their kitchen-combined-living room, giving Kelly a friendly wave. Severide returned her smile – though it didn’t quite reach his eyes – and gave her a nod of acknowledgement. She was slightly surprised to see that he was eating a large slice of chocolate cake – some of their eating habits might leave a lot to be desired, but this didn’t seem to be a breakfast for heroes.

But before she got the opportunity to ask, Casey had moved towards her, lightly embracing her and kissing her on the top of her head. He was certainly a cuddler, and Hallie loved it. She completely forgot about the cake, nuzzling into Casey’s shoulder and just enjoying the feel of his arms around her.

Eventually, Casey pulled away, eyes sparkling as he offered her his trademarked smile and cut straight to the point, “Hey, Hals. Do you want some cake?”

She glanced back to the baked good. She wouldn’t usually indulge in something so sweet so early in the morning – not so much because of the chocolate base, but also because of the frankly copious amounts of chocolate frosting smothering it – but she couldn’t say no to Casey’s grin.

“Why not? It looks nice.”

Casey set about cutting her a large slice of cake, taking one of the nicer patterned plates and placing it on. He put a fork on the side, before motioning to the small jug of cream, “You can add that too if you want… I don’t like adding cream, but Andy says it’s too rich without it. So, you have a choice.”

She thanked him, before taking a large bite – and utterly melting. The cake was incredible.

She glanced back to Matt, smiling at the sight of him digging his finger into the icing, “This is amazing Matt… what’s the occasion?”

That must have been the wrong question to ask, because Severide snorted, unkindly. Casey frowned at him, and Darden glanced between the both of them, before tentatively stating, “It’s Casey’s birthday.”

Hallie’s heart skipped a beat, not knowing how she missed it. She saw Casey freeze with his finger in his mouth, and she slowly glanced back to him.

“How did you not know?”

That had been Kelly, and Hallie didn’t appreciate his tone. But she couldn’t be bothered with that, more worried that she’d forgotten Casey’s birthday. For the life of her, she couldn’t remember Casey saying anything, but then, she’d been busy, and there was a good chance it had slipped her mind.

And now she had no present.

_She was the worst girlfriend ever._

She’d been acutely aware that Andy had slapped Severide on the shoulder, giving him one hell of a glare, but her vision was still fixed on Casey. As though in slow motion, Casey pulled his finger out of his mouth, glancing uncertainly to Andy before back to Hallie, “Uh… just twenty-two though… not an important birthday.”

But Hallie was already shaking her head, hand coming to her mouth as she started panicking, “Oh God… I’m so sorry, Matt… I must’ve forgot… I’m so, so sorry…”

That just seemed to make Casey confused, though, and he shook his head, “Uh… no. I didn’t tell you. I don’t think.”

 _That_ just confused _her_ , “What?”

“I didn’t… I mean, it’s not a big deal. Didn’t know Andy and Sev were gonna do the cake… and didn’t know how to bring it up. I don’t really mind about birthdays.”

“How did you think I wouldn’t care about that, Matt? Of course I care about your birthday! Now I haven’t even got you a present,” Hallie exclaimed, voice raising with each word. She was stumped, unable to imagine why he’d thought that she didn’t care. Had she done something to make him think that?

Casey just stared at her, not understanding why it was such a big deal, nor why this was escalating so much. He could see that he’d hurt Hallie, and that was the last thing he’d ever intended to do. His brow furrowed as he tried to script his next words, hoping that he would be able to make himself understood without upsetting her further.

He kept his tone even, the neutral one he used when he didn’t know how to handle a situation, “I’m sorry… I didn’t think it was a big deal. I’ve never really celebrated my birthday, I didn’t have parties as a kid. I shouldn’t have assumed that it wouldn’t be important, I just didn’t think about it. And for that, I’m sorry.”

Hallie’s face softened as she realised that she’d upset Matt, that having not been her intention. She’d been hurt at first that he’d kept his birthday from her, but then, she’d always celebrated her birthday. Her parents had always made a big deal, and still did. It hadn’t occurred to her that Matt hadn’t been in that position, and that realisation also made a wave of guilt crash over her, “Shit. I’m sorry, Matt… I didn’t realise. You never celebrated your birthday?”

Casey shook his head, shifting timidly as he continued to assess her. He could see that she wasn’t mad, but he was still anxious as to where the conversation was going, “Not really until the academy, at least… uh… Andy asked, then he and Sev got me a present… we also had a cake last year, but that was after dinner. Didn’t think that Andy and Kel would have it for breakfast this year… but I’m glad they did.”

He’d said that last part to appease Andy and Kelly, that was obvious, and Hallie softened again. She moved towards Casey – slowly, making sure that she wasn’t making him uncomfortable – and reached out an arm, wrapping it around his middle. Immediately, Casey reciprocated, pulling her in and pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“I didn’t mean to come off so aggressive, Matt… I’m sorry. And I’m sorry that you never celebrated your birthday… I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I’m still sorry, that I haven’t got you a present, though.”

Casey just shrugged against her, humming and running his hand up and down her back. He didn’t mind in the slightest, “It’s fine, Hals… I don’t mind at all. Besides, I get to spend the whole day with you… that’s better than any present you could get me.”

She fondly rolled her eyes at that, turning into Casey so she could grip him tighter. She was well aware that she could drag him along to the shops and force him to pick something out, but she also knew that he hated shopping. He’d admitted as much to her one night, citing the crowds and noises as too overwhelming – let alone the fact that purchasing new things wasn’t something he considered to be a fun activity. If something worked, it didn’t need to be replaced. She could remember that conversation well, because it had added evidence that he’d had a less-than-desirable childhood.

She was distracted from her thoughts when Casey shifted again, only pulling back enough to rest his forehead on her shoulder, nervous as he asked, “We’re good, right?”

Nodding against him, Hallie gently squeezed him in her grasp, “Yeah, of course, Matt. Of course… and happy birthday, Matty.”

She could feel his smile against her, a slight puff of hot air, “Thanks, Hals… and I’m really looking forwards to spending the day with you – it’s gonna be really good. Um… thought given it’s a nice day we could go and have a picnic in the park, but I don’t really mind either way. Happy to do anything, s’long as it’s with you.”

Hallie just chuckled at his sappiness, utterly relishing in his hold. She kissed him once again, before pulling back, “Sounds perfect to me, Matt. Maybe we can get some of those burgers instead of a picnic, though. My shout, of course… need to –”

She was cut off by the door slamming, and she and Casey glanced up. Darden was still standing by the kitchen island, looking sheepish and embarrassed. It was apparent that Severide had just left in a huff, and Andy blushed deeper, “Uh… sorry. Um… ignore him. We probably are gonna be late to shift, though… so… I guess I’ll have to go too.”

A look of concern washed over the blonde’s face, and he frowned as he looked to Andy, “Oh… did I do something wrong? Uh… I didn’t mean too… at all –”

But Andy was already shaking his head, any annoyance in his expression directed at his older friend, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Case… Kelly’s just being… Kelly. It’s fine, I’ll talk to him. You don’t have to worry about it… just have a good day with Hallie, yeah? And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Slowly, Casey nodded, biting his lower lip. Andy then excused himself, giving Hallie a warm hug and wishing Casey a happy birthday. The blonde in turn told him to stay safe, tailing after Andy as he saw him out the door.

Leaving Hallie standing in the kitchen, well aware that one of Casey’s best friends had a problem with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate adding cream to my cake. No. No it’s slimy and weird and cold and the cake is different and not like that. Though, I’m not too fond of cake either… would much prefer Nutella straight form the jar XD


	9. Intelligent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having a positive response to this fic makes me SO happy! Being autistic I'm very used to being rejected for acting autistic... even when people KNOW I'm autistic before becoming "friends" with me. Oh well XD Enjoy the next chapter!

True to Hallie’s promise, they had spent every minute of Casey’s birthday together, mostly cuddled up in his shared apartment. They _had_ gone to the park, but despite being a nice day, winter had still settled over Chicago, and they hadn’t lasted long in the cold. Not that either of them were complaining; Casey’s apartment was warm, cosy, and perfectly adequate for an enjoyable day together. Casey had eaten so much cake (well, icing) that he felt sick, and Hallie hadn’t felt this relaxed since she’d started working at the hospital.

But she was still stressing about something – and that was that she still hadn’t got Matt a present.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know what to get him. In fact – she had known almost immediately – her boyfriend’s passion for alpacas and strong aversion to the cold working well together. But it had been far harder for her to find than she wanted to admit – at least, it was hard for her to find the quality she was aiming for. She had ended up doing hours of research, sending emails to complete strangers, and had needed to drive three hours out of Chicago.

But it had all been worth it.

She’d done the drive the previous day, when Casey had been busy with shift. Shift days were usually the only ones when she didn’t see her boyfriend unless she managed to visit him at the firehouse. But she hadn’t been able to help but notice that none of the other firefighters had their spouses visiting them all the time, and while it didn’t seem to bother Matt, she was well aware that he didn’t want to seem different. He’d not said anything, of course, but she had still decided to keep her distance, instead settling for the more discreet option of texting him throughout the day.

She’d barely been able to contain her excitement that morning, rising early and wrapping Casey’s present. She’d also printed off a few of the photos she’d taken, knowing that he’d want to see them just as much as his presents. His shift finished at eight, which gave her time to buy them both breakfast (he told her that he ate at the firehouse, but she got the impression that breakfasts at the firehouse consisted mainly of coffee – and Casey didn’t even drink coffee) before she was heading over to Casey’s. She knew that Andy and Kelly would also be off shift – which both comforted her and made her nervous in equal measures. She still didn’t understand why she seemed to be on Kelly’s bad side, but she _did_ want to make amends.

And hopefully her present might make up for it.

Whatever _it_ was.

She parked in front of Casey’s apartment, noticing that his beat up pick-up was parked in its usual space. The pick-up was probably older than he was – which Hallie may have found herself judging at first. Which really wasn’t right, she knew that… but she hadn’t been able to help it. She _was_ learning about herself – and not all of it she liked. She’d always known that she’d grown up with a sheltered lifestyle, she was only just starting to realise how much it affected her day to day.

She shrugged those thoughts off as she walked up to their apartment door, shifting the presents in one hand as she knocked. It didn’t take too long until she could hear a set of feet marching towards her, and she could tell from the footfalls that they were Kelly. She realised too late that she should have got something for all to four of them to eat, but Kelly was already opening the door. 

There was an awkward moment between them, Kelly’s piercing eyes boring into her, before she recovered. She forced a wide smile, hoping that she could magically will ease into the man, “Morning, Kelly. How are you?”

Kelly held her gaze for a moment longer, before nodding, any unpleasantness becoming masked, “I’m good, Hallie. How are you?”

She nodded back, taking a deep breath, “Good thanks, Kelly.”

They both paused for a moment longer, before Severide stepped back, finally waving her in. She entered, moving past him and thanking him as he closed the door after her.

“Hals!”

Any unpleasantness was forgotten in that moment, Hallie’s excitement to see her boyfriend and for him to open his present once again taking over. She beamed as she looked at him, noticing that he was fresh from the shower and already bouncing on the balls of his feet, “Hi, Hals, how are you?”

His tone was so different from Severide’s when he asked, and automatically, she moved towards him. She was unable to hug him on account of the presents in one hand and food in the other, but Casey didn’t seem to mind, wrapping his arms firmly around her. He placed a kiss to her forehead, humming against her.

“I’m good Matt – how are you? How was shift?”

Casey grinned, pulling back, “Fine. Typical… not many calls. How has your day been?”

Matt’s intonation was the exact same each time he said those words, and Hallie couldn’t hide her smile. She pulled away, grinning up at Matt, knowing that he was talking about the previous day, “It was good, Matt… I finally picked up your presents for your birthday. Can’t wait for you to open them.”

He did a double take as he noticed the three wrapped presents she was holding. It wasn’t that he hadn’t noticed them before, but he knew not to assume something was for him. It wasn’t polite; and for all he knew, Hallie might be going to a child’s birthday party afterwards. Besides, he really hadn’t been expecting to receive any presents. A couple of days had already passed since his birthday, and he had no idea that she was going to put any effort into it. He really didn’t think that he needed anything, either. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he was happy with just spending the day with her. He genuinely didn’t expect anything else.

“Oh… thank you. I didn’t expect it, Hals. Come in… have you had breakfast? Darden was cooking some eggs. He’s actually pretty good at them… unlike Sev’s cooking.”

The blonde had been teasing, that much had been blatantly obvious, but Severide still directed one hell of a death glare at him. Casey’s brow had furrowed slightly, mind reeling as to what he’d done wrong, but he didn’t get a chance to ask before Severide was stalking back down the hallway. He glanced over to Hallie, hoping that she could assist, but she just shook her head, “Think it’s fine, Matty… now come on. I brought some croissants – if we have some eggs as well, there’s enough to share with Andy and Kelly. Plus… then you can open your presents.”

\--

Breakfast had passed without further incident, Kelly being pleasant enough even if aloof. Besides, Andy had made up for any lack of conversation on Severide’s part, and she’d learnt that the young firefighter had gone to school with Kelly. They’d met Casey at the academy – which still left his childhood largely a mystery to her – and had been firm friends ever since.

Casey and Kelly started cleaning away the breakfast, allowing Hallie to continue getting to know Darden. She couldn’t find any fault with the young man if she tried. And that gave her hope for her relationship with Kelly – maybe this was something that they could move past.

“Alright, Matt… time for your presents,” Hallie stated when he’d finished mopping the bench. He’d been discreetly eyeing them the entire time, clearly excited, and Hallie didn’t want to make him wait any longer, “Go on… this one first, I think. Not that it really matters…”

A huge grin covered the blonde’s face, and he practically skipped towards her, left hand flapping by his side. Andy grinned from his seat, and even Severide stopped what he was doing to smile. A wave of excitement washed over Hallie, and she slid the first one over to him, “There you go, Matt…”

The blonde struggled to contain his excitement, resisting the urge to tear the paper off. Instead, he moved to the sides, unsticking the tape in the way he’d been taught to do. He hadn’t seen many other people open presents in that refined fashion, to be honest, but it was better to be overly polite than _impolite_ , in his opinion.

But as soon as he’d opened the present a little bit, he could contain himself no longer. Because what Hallie had got him was _amazing._

He tore the last of the wrapping off, pulling out a long, dark grey scarf. His body utterly melted at the softness, and he rhythmically ran his fingers over it. He raised it shakily, pressing it to one cheek, and rubbed it softly over his cheekbone, “So soft…”

Hallie smiled, heart fluttering in her chest. Casey’s reaction was priceless, and she couldn’t imagine a better one for the life of her.

That was, until Casey pressed it to his nose, running it across his lips and inhaling the scent.

He froze.

“This… alpaca fleece?”

Hallie nodded, and Casey quickly felt himself loosing the usual control he held over his body. A shudder ran through him as he started bouncing on the balls of his feet, sparks of adrenaline shooting down his arms. They moved to his fingertips, and Casey bounced again. One hand continued to stroke the scarf, as the other balled into a loose fit and started shaking by his side, “Alpaca…”

Hallie’s chest warmed at the sight, a huge smile overcoming her face – and a quick glance at Matt’s friends showed them wearing similar expressions. Matt continued to bounce lightly, now also rocking slightly, as he ran his fingers over the soft garment. His lips moved with silent words, and his entire focus was taken by the scarf.

She watched and smiled fondly as Casey stimmed for a few more minutes, before rising to stand next to him. Immediately, he jolted and looked up at her, blue eyes sparkling, “Halls… alpaca. Thank you.”

“It’s really no problem, Matt… I’m glad you like it –”

“I love it. So much.” He interrupted, still too excited to contain himself. But it didn’t bother Hallie at all. In fact, she was glad that he was letting her in. It wasn’t that it was unusual for him to stim in front of her, but she was still glad. She knew that he tried to hide it in public – especially when he was with her, or around her roommates – and she knew that he’d find that exhausting.

“Here… open these ones as well, you can probably guess what they are…”

Casey grinned as he ripped off the papers, bouncing again as he revealed a dark grey pair of gloves and a beanie. The beanie, like the scarf, grew lighter at the edges, adding a nice amount of detail to the garment. The blonde bounced again, taking the gloves and pressing them to his face. He rocked slightly, clearly lost in his own world, his ecstasy painted over his face.

She glanced over to his roommates, reassured by their expressions. Andy even nodded at her, and she noticed that even Severide couldn’t hide his relief. She allowed herself a breath of relief at that, hoping that she had moved a step towards Kelly trusting her.

Slowly, Casey pulled himself out of his reverie, fingers still running over the gloves. He glanced up, tears in his eyes as he smiled at Hallie, “Thank you, Hals… these are amazing… really, I love them… thank you.”

He suddenly moved to hug Hallie, wrapping his arms around her clumsily. She reciprocated, squeezing his chest tight as he rocked them both, “Really, Matt… I’m just glad that you liked it. I got them from a farm, do you want to see the alpaca they came from?”

The blonde jolted against her, yanking himself out of her grasp. His eyes were wide once again, and he surveyed her face, trying to work out if she was telling the truth, “You know whose fleece it is?”

Hallie just nodded, moving over to her bag and pulling out the images, “Yeah, I got them from a small farm out of Chicago… they let me meet the alpacas. Okay… here, this is the one the darker grey wool came from. His name is –”

“Macho.” Casey stated, eyes lighting up at the image. He glanced up to Andy, and then across to Kelly, hands clutching the counter as he started to bounce again, now entirely unable to contain his excitement, “It’s Macho! This fleece is from Macho!”

Hallie’s eyebrows show up in surprise, frankly amazed that Casey knew the name of an alpaca three hours out of Chicago, “You know Macho?”

But Casey was already gone, pacing excitedly down the hall. When he reached the end, he gave an excited little jump, before spinning on foot and heading back towards them. He repeated the action a couple of times, flapping his hands by his side as he continued to stim. Hallie grinned at the sight, half-tempted to go and join in. Casey’s excitement was contagious.

He was breathless by the time he returned to her side, hands still flapping. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy – and not just because of the alpacas, but because _Hallie_ had bought him these things and _Hallie_ had gone to the effort. He was so in love with this woman… he simply couldn’t believe it, “Hals… you went to Bradford… thank you.”

He wasn’t overly surprised when Hallie just shrugged, her own eyes sparkling with a reflection of his mirth. The sight was enough to make him fling herself at her, fingers twining themselves in her hair as he rocked them both. He pressed his lips just above his ears, realising he’d not answered Hallie’s last question, “I’ve met Macho before – he’s from Whanga farm in Bradford. Macho is a term used to describe a male alpaca of breeding age. He was the only male alpaca at the bad farm he was rescued from… he was really underweight… but that’s why they called him Macho. I got to feed him when I went there, although he’s pretty shy. But he ate some lucerne. Apparently he’s not shy with the owners… he knows he can trust them. I wonder if he’d ever trust me… probably not, though. But that’s okay. I also met Deborah… she’s friendly. She was raised since she was a cria. Her mother was rescued but died giving birth to her. Which is really sad, but they took her and raised her and now she cares more about people than other alpacas. She’s friendly with them, of course, but she just hangs around the homestead… of course, if you’ve been there you would’ve seen her. She hums at you whenever you’re near. Hard to miss her…”

He continued mumbling as he fiddled with Hallie’s hair, body relaxing into her. The part of his mind that was usually yelling at him to stop, to hide his feelings, to cover any traits that society might deem immature was silent. He was comfortable. He was well and truly comfortable, and Hallie was just glad to be added to that list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Whanga' is the Māori word for 'haven' - as the farm is probably an animal sanctuary where abused animals go. Māori people are the Indigenous people of mainland New Zealand, I guess the owners are from New Zealand. 
> 
> The next chapter is mostely written - and currently sits at 5,000 words. Should I split it into two, or would you prefer the long chapter? 
> 
> Thanks and love as always :)


	10. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8,700 words of shameless whump.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Casey was sick.

Usually, the blonde was stoic when he was ill, and would push himself to the limit. Even when he was practically staggering around, barely able to keep himself upright, he would insist that he was fine, and he’d do his best to not inconvenience anyone, keeping to himself to minimize his germ sharing. He’d also insist on looking after himself, not wanting to be an inconvenience or disrupt anyone’s plans.

But even he’d had to admit that this flu was kicking his butt. He’d felt bad the previous day, and the fever had washed over him soon after dinner. He’d been utterly covered in sweat, and his headache had soon forced him to bed. Andy and Severide had made sure that he was settled, throwing an extra blanket over him when he hasn’t been able to stop shivering. Casey had rasped out his thanks – his throat was burning, and he just wanted to sleep.

But sleep had been merciless. Overnight, Casey had developed a hacking cough, and it had kept him up. Everything was congested, and his head and body only ached even more than they had the previous day. He’d pulled himself out of bed – because his stubborn nature prevented him from staying in bed and resting – but he’d been so dizzy that he’d almost fallen in the hallway, being saved last minute by Kelly’s strong arm. Severide had then assisted him to the couch, where Casey hadn’t managed to do much other than huddle up – still shaking – as Kelly threw a blanket over him. But he couldn’t get comfortable for the life of him, each time he shifted to abate the achiness sending bullets of pain around his body. There was no winning.

He’d then realised that he had to text Hallie. She was supposed to be coming over today, and there was no way that he was going to expose her to the flu that was now raging around his body. He’d tried to sit himself up – with effort – before Darden had come over and rolled his eyes. He’d get the phone for Casey. The blonde didn’t have to worry about anything.

Which was still a foreign concept for him… that there were people willing to help him. And it was definitely nice, but he didn’t want to overstep. If the offer was there, he’d accept it. If not – then he’d be fine.

Darden had returned with his phone and Casey had made quick work of texting Hallie with an apology and explanation. But it hurt his eyes to look at the screen – the damn thing was so bright – and he locked his phone and threw it down soon after.

He’d then drifted off into a feverish nap. It wasn’t very peaceful – Casey still shifting around every few seconds, alternating between chills and sweats as he tangled himself up in the blankets – but it was better than nothing. Both Darden and Severide kept an eye on him, there to re-secure the blanket over his shoulders when he needed it. They’d had no plans for that day anyway, and both were more than happy to keep Casey company.

A mere hour passed before there was a knock at the door, and Andy allowed himself a smile as went to open it. Casey had fallen asleep before Hallie had got a chance to reply, so he didn’t know that his girlfriend was coming over with supplies. Andy gave her a grin as she let him in, indicating to the main room, “He’s been asleep for about an hour… if you can call it that. Not very comfortable. We did force drugs into him, don’t think they’ve done an awful lot, though, he’s still burning up.”

Hallie nodded, setting her bag on the counter. She’d brought medical supplies – not that she thought that she needed them, but there was no reason to not bring them. When Casey had texted her that he was sick with the flu, she’d not thought twice before gathering everything up. Sickness was something that she knew about, and while her heart ached to know that Casey was suffering, she knew that she could help, “What did you give him? I brought other things, need to know what I can give him. And when.”

“Uh… Panadol. This…” Andy replied, indicating to a box on the counter. He suddenly realised that neither he nor Kelly knew anything about the drugs they’d given the blonde, and he felt heat rush to his cheeks as Hallie studied the packet.

“Ah… this wouldn’t do much for his fever, not in this dose. Probably helped with the headache, though… I’ll dose him up on some ibuprofen… that’s better for fevers. And safe to take at the same time,” she rambled, opening the bag, “Hopefully we can get him feeling a little better… though best thing is bedrest and fluids, _not_ to sound like a doctor.”

Andy chuckled in response, glancing up as Severide entered the room. The squad hopeful offered Hallie a smile, but she was already heading over to her boyfriend’s prone form on the couch.

She knelt down in front of him, wincing at how awful he looked. He was pale, with dark bags under his eyes. But his cheeks and forehead were both flushed, and that wasn’t even including the way sweat was covering his brow and mattering his hair. He was half-tangled in his sheets, brow furrowed even in sleep, and Hallie could see how uncomfortable he was. Her stomach dropped in sympathy, and she wasted no more time in reaching a hand out and shaking his shoulder.

“Matt? Matty, honey.”

Casey grimaced, a tired groan leaving his throat as he leant further into the pillow. His eyes fluttered – wincing harder as the sudden influx of light – and then tiredly opened as he focused on Hallie. It took him a moment to process her presence, before he managed to croak out, “Hals?”

The single word set off a coughing fit, and Casey tiredly raised a blanket-covered hand to cover his mouth. He curled tightly into himself, and squeezed his eyes shut until the fit was over. Then, he dragged his eyes back open, wincing at the pounding in his head, “Hals – what’re you doing here?”

His words didn’t hurt Hallie, though, because she was very aware that it wasn’t personal, “Matt. You’re sick. I’m here to look after you.”

Casey blinked, confusion dancing behind his eyes. He was disgusting and germy, not to mention that he didn’t have the energy to be good company right now, “Mmmm… don’ want to get you sick, Hals. I’m fine.”

She just smiled down at him, rolling her eyes fondly, “Would you be looking after me, if I were sick?”

Casey’s brow furrowed, response immediate, “Of course –”

“Then let me look after you. Besides, I’m unlikely to catch it… flu vax was really effective this year… and I’ve seen dozens of flu patients at the clinic already. If anything, I brought it back to you. I’m sorry for that.” She apologised, feeling genuinely terrible. She didn’t even think of Matt being up to date with his vaccines. Then again, he was a first responder, so he should be.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, Hals,” he rasped, licking his dry lips, “Besides… might not have given me this. Family was evacuated from their building last shift, all sick. Gave the mother my turnout coat because she was shivering… maybe got it from them.”

Hallie winced, unable to stop herself from running a hand through his sweat soaked hair. Of course he’d got himself sick doing something honourable, “Don’t firefighters get vaccinated? Thought you’d be at risk.”

“We do. Case missed his shots because he was on sick leave with his arm… then he kept forgetting to go,” Severide responded, coming over to stand behind the couch and playfully jab his little brother in the ribs, “Bet you’re not gonna make that mistake next year, are ya, Case?”

The blonde groaned, mustering up the energy to shove Severide back and grin, “Ugh, no. Was meant to get the vaccine next week… bit late now. Not making the mistake again.”

Severide grinned back down at him, resting his elbows on the back of the couch and leaning over. One hand came to where Hallie’s had been moments ago, gently massaging his shoulder, “I still reckon you can get some funny anti-vax jokes out of this, bud. There has to be something.”

This time Matt rolled his eyes, huffing out a puff of air, relieved when it didn’t result in a coughing fit, “I would, but anti-vaxxers aren’t funny… they’re just dangerous, Sev.”

“You’re right, sorry, fair enough.” Severide agreed, still rubbing Casey’s shoulder up and down, “Can I get anything for you, bud?”

Matt shrugged a shoulder, half letting his eyes drift shut, “M’good, Kel… I’m fine.”

Kelly took a breath, but Hallie was already responding, soothingly brushing Casey’s hair back and tucking some of the strands behind his ear, “You’re not _fine_ , Matt… you have a fever. I want to see how bad it is… and then get you properly medicated. Think I can get you feeling a little better… then we can relax and do whatever you want.”

Casey hummed tiredly, nodding up at Hallie. He felt awful enough that a day of rest seemed appealing – which was really saying something. He watched with tired eyes as Hallie opened up her bag, fiddling around before removing a thermometer. She uncapped it, before holding it in front of Casey’s lips, “Under your tongue, Matt… it takes about a minute.”

He obliged, holding the thermometer under his tongue. A bout of chills ran through him, and Casey pulled the blanket covering him tighter around himself as he continued to shiver. Hallie eyed it suspiciously. It just looked like a regular comforter, but it sat around his frame in an odd way. She reached out and felt it, eyebrows shooting up when she realised there were layers of thick blankets within the cover. It was hardly the light blanket that was recommended when someone had a fever, and it wasn’t helping Matt’s body regulate his temperature.

After a minute thermometer beeped, and Hallie gently extracted it from where it was resting under Casey’s tongue. She winced at the result – 101.6 – and watched as another bout of shivers ran through the blonde. His fever was still rising, which concerned her, “Alright… fevers not great, Matt. Ibuprofen and paracetamol will help… which I’ll give you. But this blanket isn’t helping… it’s too heavy. Is there a lighter one in your room?”

Hallie didn’t think that there’d been anything wrong with her words, but Andy let out a bark of laughter, and Casey pouted, dropping his face to the pillow and moaning, “Noooo….”

She frowned, taken back, and glanced up to where Severide was still leaning on the back of the couch. The young man just smiled, perhaps a little smug, and motioned to Casey, “It’s meant to be heavy… Case likes the pressure.”

Eyes widening as she understood, Hallie glanced back down to Casey. He shifted, just so she could see one eye, and explained, “It’s a sensory thing.”

A pang of guilt shot through her, and Hallie winced, “Ah, sorry, yeah, I wasn’t thinking.”

Casey just shrugged, before starting to shift. He tiredly pushed the top of the blanket down, shivering again as the cool air hit him. He _did_ like his blanket, but he wanted to prove that he was happy without it – because he was.

But Hallie was already speaking, “You know… it’s probably fine, Matt. You have a fever, but it’s not like it’s dangerous… and the meds will help as well. How about we keep it on for now, and see how you’re doing later?” she asked, knowing it was what was best for Matt.

He paused for a second, before nodding, “Yeah, okay. I’d like that…”

Hallie nodded, before going back to her bag. She pulled out a box of paracetamol and another of ibuprofen, before taking a third box and setting it on the ground. She pulled out of a tablet of each, before tapping Matt on the shoulder to sit up, “You can technically take two at a time of each… but if you take one, then another in two hours, it will actually keep the levels more constant in your blood… which will make you feel better and is safe to do so. Then the other one is Sudafed… helps with congestion. I’ll also get you some cough syrup and a throat lolly… is there anything else? Are you feeling nauseous?”

“No… just a bit of a headache. Kinda achy, too… but I’m alright.” Casey croaked, pushing himself up to a seated position with a tired wince. The movement had made his arms burn, but he wasn’t going to admit that. The cough that had caught in his throat and launched him into a coughing fit wasn’t so discreet, though, and he felt Severide’s hand on his back as he caught his breath.

“Alright… just take these tablets, Matt. Then you can relax… is there anything in particular you want to watch? I’m interested in the alpaca VCR you have.”

Casey raised an eyebrow, glancing up from where he’d just forced the three pills down in one go, “You’re interested? Hallie, you don’t have to watch it… we can find something else… besides, I’m probably going to fall asleep.”

Hallie shrugged, pouring a dose of cough syrup and holding it out to her boyfriend, “I do want too. As long as you’re happy watching it again with me?”

She already knew the answer of that, well aware that he’d be happy to watch the show again. In fact, he’d probably be more than happy – but she wasn’t going to mention that. Instead she just smiled as his eyes lit up in excitement.

“Take the meds, Matt… you can wash it down with the water. I’ll start turning the TV on.”

He nodded tiredly, holding his nose as he downed the cough meds. He still winced, half gagging on the flavour, and he jumped when he felt a cold bottle tap his shoulder, “Here, Case. Wash it down with this.”

He glanced up, seeing Kelly holding out a bottle of purple Gatorade. Quickly, he untwisted the lid, holding the bottle to his lips and slurping the liquid down. He’d always loved purple Gatorade, an obsession he knew was almost unhealthy.

He was just about to turn around to thank his friend, when the intro to the nature documentary started playing. Immediately, he turned back to the screen, waiting for the moment that he knew the alpaca appeared.

Hallie noticed and grinned, standing up and moving back towards the couch. Casey wasn’t focused on anything other than the TV, so she dropped in the seat next to him before taking his shoulders and easing him down. Matt glanced up, staring at Hallie with wide eyes.

“Relax, Matt. If you fall asleep it’s not a big deal… you need rest to get better. And fluids. I’ll push those into you as well… Gatorade is really good, lots of electrolytes even if it is sugary.”

Casey’s eyes remained wide for a moment longer, before he grinned. His throat was really hurting, and his head was pounding, but he had a strange fluttering in his chest that he wasn’t used too. Hallie was smiling down at him, before leaning down and kissing him on the forehead.

* * *

Despite all of Hallie’s love and care, Casey just felt worse and worse as the day wore on. He was exhausted, tired and achy. His cough was getting harsher, and his throat was burning. Opening his eyes made his head hurt, and besides, they ached too much to focus on the TV. He’d started sneezing as well, but he was so congested that neither sneezing nor blowing did anything to clear his sinuses.

He was miserable.

Hallie had him up every two hours, making sure that he stayed medicated and hydrated. She’d also forced some soup into him at lunch, courtesy of Severide, but it was clear that Casey was struggling.

Which was why they were heading straight to bed after an early dinner, Casey rubbing his eyes tiredly as he trekked along behind Hallie, “Hals… you don’t have to come to bed early… you can stay up. Dunno what Andy and Sev are watching… uh, might be good. They’ll probably change it too if you ask…”

Casey’s voice was utterly wrecked, and Hallie hummed in sympathy, “Really, Matt. I don’t mind. Besides, I brought a book, and I’d much rather do that than watch television.”

A look of concern flooded over Casey’s face, and Hallie quickly caught herself, “That is. I’d rather be with you than without you – and I am looking forwards to reading my book. It was nice to have a day watching the TV today, though… haven’t had a day off for a long time. It was nice, Matt.”

The blonde watched her for another moment, before smiling. But whatever he was about to say was cut off when he started to cough, his chest aching as he tried to catch his breath. Hallie’s hand was resting on his back, gently tapping his back and soothing him, “It’s alright, Matty… s’alright.”

He caught his breath and straightened himself from where he’d doubled half-over. He wiped his eyes with his wrist, holding it there for a second when it seemed to ease the pounding in his head.

“Come on, Matt… hop into bed. If we prop you up with pillows it should help a little, make it more comfortable for you to breathe…”

Casey nodded, tiredly dropping himself to the mattress and slumping down. He could hear Hallie shifting around behind him, but he didn’t feel like he had the energy to get back up, not until he felt Hallie gently tapping his shoulder, “Hey, sorry, Matt. Just sit up… let me get the blankets under you.”

He bit back a groan as he pushed himself up, appreciating Hallie’s hand on his shoulder. She helped him lean back against the cushions she’d leant up against the headboard, before dragging the blankets from beneath his feet. She considered for a moment, before removing them entirely.

“What are you doing?”

Hallie gently sushed him, before turning around and retrieving his heavy blanket from earlier. It was almost difficult to lift, but she quickly managed to settle it over him. He frowned up at her, clearly perplexed, “I thought I wasn’t allowed to sleep under this?”

Shrugging, Hallie lifted a shoulder, “I reconsidered… well. I’ll still be awake when you fall asleep. So, I’ll just take it off later.”

For a brief, fleeting moment, Casey looked like he was going to argue. But then, he didn’t, instead nodding and leaning back. His eyes drifted closed, and Hallie placed a gentle kiss to his forehead, before reaching behind her and securing a wet towel to his forehead, “Close your eyes, Matt… you probably _won’t_ be feeling better in the morning… but I’ll still be with you. And we’ll do our best to keep you comfortable, Matt…”

He peeled his eyes open, smiling up at Hallie. He appreciated that he hadn’t tried lying to him. He’d never understood social lying, and while he would have thanked Hallie anyway, he appreciated that she’d not put him in that position, “Thanks, Hals…”

“It’s no problem… are you comfortable? Enough pillows?”

He nodded, before reaching out an arm, “I’d be more comfortable with you, though… get in beside me… uh, if you want, of course…”

Hallie rolled her eyes, chuckling fondly and moving towards him. She got herself under the covers – eyes widening at how pleasant the weight was, she could understand why Casey liked it – and moved closer to Matt. She felt his arm snake around her waist, and she hummed as she leant against his shoulder.

It didn’t take long for him to drift off, his exhaustion combined with the relief he was getting from the drugs soothing him. A big part had also been Hallie’s presence, her even breathing and the knowledge of her love taking him off to dreamland.

But it didn’t last long.

Not long after Hallie swapped his blankets to a lighter one, Casey coughed himself awake, resting his elbows on his knees as he caught his breath. He wiped his tired eyes, putting a hand to his forehead and whining. He was exhausted, his head was pounding, and his ears were starting to hurt. His nose was so stuffed up he couldn’t breathe through it, and he couldn’t even sleep properly.

Hallie soothed his hair back, pushing him gently back against the pillows. He cleared his throat miserably – wincing at the pain it caused – and rested his wrist across his eyes. If he could stop the pounding in his head he could sleep, he thought, though then again, his chest was starting to hurt, so maybe _that_ would keep him awake instead.

He forced his eyes open as Hallie settled beside him, leaning against his shoulder. He turned to her tiredly, seeing her smiling in sympathy. She placed another kiss to his cheek, and as though she could read his mind, placed a hand on his chest and started rubbing soothing circles. He croaked out a brief thanks – which was met with a gentle hush from Hallie – before closing his eyes again, using every sleep technique he’d ever learnt to try to get himself back to sleep.

And he was successful, but his first shabby experience with sleep pretty much set up the next of his night. Every time he succumbed to his exhaustion, _something_ woke him up – whether it was a harsh coughing fit, and explosive sneeze, or a bout of chills shaking him awake. Hallie had been by his side each time, though – soothing him and comforting him like no one had ever done before. He kept one hand around her waist, needing her to be close to him, and just hoping that she wouldn’t think him selfish.

Of course, Hallie wasn’t even close to thinking that, and she had nothing but sympathy for her boyfriend as she stayed up with him, keeping her eyes open until he had drifted off. Her own fatigue didn’t matter as long as her boyfriend was suffering, something she was determined to prove.

Which was why she was awake when Matt broke into another coughing fit, only interrupting himself with sneeze halfway through. She watched as he turned his head, noticing the bright red ‘2:00 AM’ illuminated on his clock.

Casey’s moan was quiet, but she’d heard it, and she hummed as she ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, “S’okay, baby…”

He whined as he forced his eyes open, glancing up at her with watery eyes. Hallie could see every part of how awful he was feeling, and it broke her heart, “Easy, Matt… just close your eyes and go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up…”

He blinked tiredly, before shifting, shaking his head, “Shouldn’t stay here, Hals… s’okay…”

Hallie just frowned, shaking her head, “I’m staying right here, baby…”

Casey blinked, before shifting, propping himself up and nodding. He tried not to groan as he heaved himself up, feeling Hallie’s hands come to assist him, “You’re right, sorry… I’ll go to the couch.”

She frowned deeper at that, gently putting a hand to his chest and pushing him back down, “No, I’m staying here with _you_ , baby… hopefully keep you comfortable through the night.”

It was Casey’s turn to frown, and he shook his head slightly, “But… you’ll get sick…”

“I told you, Matty; I’m unlikely to catch it. And if I do – it doesn’t matter. You’re more important than me not risking getting sick.” She said firmly, shaking her head.

The blonde looked up at her with wide and vulnerable eyes, amazed at what he was hearing. But his body chose that exact moment to throw him into a coughing fit. It was rough, and Hallie helped him gently sit up, running a hand up and down his back as she soothed him, “Easy, baby… easy…”

He let out a breath when the coughing eased, and Hallie helped him lay back down. She gently ran a hand over his forehead – wincing at the heat – as she waited for him to catch his breath.

“Ugh, sorry…”

Hallie just hummed, shaking her head, “It’s okay, sweetie –”

“That’s another reason I should go to the couch… I’m just gonna keep you awake here.”

“ _Matt._ I told you. It’s fine. If you’re _really_ more comfortable with me sleeping on the couch, I can do that. But I’d much rather stay here with you. You won’t keep me awake, and if you do it doesn’t matter.”

Matt still looked troubled, clearly at a loss on how to handle the situation. He didn’t _want_ to keep Hallie awake, and even though she seemed genuine, memories from his childhood whipped around his head. Hallie was behaving in a manner unknown to him, and he didn’t have a script. He didn’t want to ask, either – not unless it was Andy – so he was left not knowing how to cope with the situation.

Thankfully, Hallie had noticed, and she made a firm decision, “Alright, how about this; if I decide you’re keeping me awake, and I want to get some sleep, I’ll go to the couch. But that will be my decision, and I definitely haven’t decided that yet. And I doubt I will. But I’ll keep it in mind as an option. Okay?”

He thought it over for a moment, evaluating Hallie’s proposal. It sounded good, except for one thing; “If you decide to go to the couch, tell me. And I’ll go. You can keep the bed.”

She could have argued with him, pointed out that it was his bed and that he was the one who was sick, but she realised there was no point. She wasn’t going to leave him, and more importantly, she wanted him to rest. So, she just rolled her eyes, “Alright, I accept those terms.”

Casey relaxed, once again putting his arm out so she could curl into his side. She had to admire that about him. He was the sick one, yet he was the one offering her comfort. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering why he was doing that. She got that a big component was his personality, his love and care for everyone around him (which was likely also why he was a firefighter) but she couldn’t stop help but worry that there were other factors at play. She’d already gathered that he’d not had an easy childhood –

No. She wasn’t getting into that. Not when Matt was sick, and there was no help in speculating. It wasn’t her business, anyway, not really. If Matt wanted to tell her, he could, and if not… then she’d be okay with that as well.

Still, she couldn’t stop her mind from buzzing as she closed her eyes, adjusting her head against Casey’s shoulder. She knew that he’d answer her if she asked, but she wanted him to come to her about in on his own terms. Unless he wasn’t going to, because he didn’t want to burden her with it… that also seemed like a very Matt thing to do.

By some miracle, Casey slept for the remainder of the night – well, morning – even if it wasn’t very restful. And Hallie drifted off as well, still resting against Matt’s sturdy shoulder. She wasn’t going to move away from him – she might be a doctor, and might have a high respect for science, but she also believed in the power of love.

Just because science didn’t understand it, didn’t mean it didn’t exist.

She was still thinking it through when she heard the muffled sound of an alarm coming from elsewhere in the apartment. Another joined it seconds later, and she heard a loud groan. She chuckled at that, aware that Kelly and Andy were getting up for shift.

Sure enough, over the next half hour, she heard the shower hissing twice, and soft steps down the hallway. They were clearly trying to keep quiet as not to disturb her or Matt, which she appreciated. Matt was still dead asleep in her lap, and she didn’t plan on waking him any time soon. He was sleep deprived as it was.

She was still in that position when she heard a soft knock at Casey’s door, and she glanced up. It opened to reveal both Severide and Darden, the two young candidates dressed in their bunker gear. Darden smiled when he noticed Hallie was awake, nodding his head at Casey’s sleeping form, “How’s he doing?”

Hallie lifted a single shoulder, pitching her voice low as she responded, “Feeling pretty rough… we were up all night. Good that he’s getting rest now, though… still think today’s going to be rough. Second day of the flu is usually the worst.”

Andy nodded, concern shimmering in his eyes. Severide stepped forwards, running a hand through his hair, “Do you want one of us to stay home? Make sure he’s okay?”

“Oh, no… that’s not necessary. We’ll be fine, just take it easy.” She replied, really not seeing any point. Matt was feeling dreadful, she knew that, but he wasn’t in any form of danger. There wasn’t much anyone could do – save for keeping him medicated and rested, and she was perfectly capable of that.

But it hadn’t been the right response, apparently, because Kelly gave one short, sharp nod before stalking down the hall. She was about to leap at the chance to question Andy about his friend’s odd behaviour, but just as she took a breath, Matt shifted, letting out a congested whine as he rolled over in her lap.

Immediately, she soothed his hair back, smiling kindly at him as he blinked himself awake. His eyes were watery as he focussed at her, a questioning sound leaving his lips. But the sound had caught in his throat, and he pushed himself up as he doubled over and coughed. Hallie tapped at his back until he’d finished, gently rubbing his shoulders, “Easy, Matty…”

When he was done, he wiped his wrist over his eyes, blinking tiredly. He glanced over to Andy, voice nothing more than a croak as he asked, “Hey, Andy… you on shift today?”

Darden nodded, moving towards the bed and sitting down on the edge. He rested a hand on Casey’s leg through the blanket, giving him a squeeze, “Yeah, bud. You take it easy, today, yeah? Can I get you anything?”

Casey shrugged, his desire to be polite and not a burden stopping him from even considering Darden’s question. Fortunately, Hallie thought it through for him, nodding to the young candidate, “If it’s not too much trouble, we need more water. I also left the tablets on the bench… I can get them, but –”

“Say no more. You sure you don’t want anything, bud? I’m just heading into the kitchen, anyway.”

Slowly, Casey blinked his tired eyes, before nodding, “Uh… Gatorade, if it’s not too much trouble… preferably –”

“Purple. Got it, Matty.” Andy laughed, squeezing Casey’s calf again before standing, “I’ll be back in a tick… then Kelly and I need to head out, but we’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Casey nodded, worried that speaking would send him into another coughing fit. Darden got up and left, leaving Hallie and Casey in the room together. Casey covered a wince as he rolled over, glancing back up at Hallie. He knew that he was going to spend the day sleeping – at least, he wanted too. He was just feeling far too wretched to do anything, and he wanted to curl up and hide himself from the pain. And he didn’t want to bore Hallie with that.

“Before you say anything – I’m staying with you for the day, Matt. I brought some med stuff to study, and I want to look after you. You’re not a burden.”

His eyes widened a fraction, not knowing how Hallie had seemingly nailed it on the head. But before he had a chance to respond, the door opened again, and both Kelly and Andy entered. Andy handed the two bottles of water and medications to Hallie, while Severide cut around to the other side of the bed and handed Casey the Gatorade. Matt muttered his thanks – voice nothing more than a weak croak – and fumbled with the lid. But the Gatorade tasted off, faint and barely there, and he signed as he screwed the cap back on and back on. The small amount of liquid he’d ingested had made him nauseous, and he dropped his head to his knees as he tried to breathe deeply.

Hallie recognised the signs before he did, but Matt was up only a second later. He swayed as he tried to get his feet beneath him, and Severide was quick to grab him, looping an arm around his chest. He was frowning, but when Matt gagged he got it.

“Ah, right. Shit, bud.”

Matt started staggering forwards, Severide right beside him. Andy had already gone ahead and opened the bathroom door, stepping away to let them through, and Kelly wasted no time in helping Matt kneel by the toilet, one hand landing on his back as Matt started retching. The Gatorade he’d drunk only minutes ago came back up, purple splashing in the water and colouring it.

“Easy, buddy… easy…” he soothed, one hand resting on Matt’s shoulder as another heave sent him diving forwards. Matt whined, dropping his arm across the bowl and continuing to puke up what was in his stomach. Severide didn’t move his hand away for a second, rubbing gently as Casey caught his breath. When the blonde raised his head, tears were streaming down his face, and Severide’s heart ached. He tenderly helped Matt pull away from the toilet – and the stench – before giving him a soft expression, sympathy covering his face, “Do you want me to stay home? Don’t want to leave you, bud…”

Casey didn’t look like he was going to answer, so Hallie cut in, “Thanks, Kelly, but I think we’re fine… I can take care of Matt…”

He was about to respond harshly to her, pointing out that he’d asked Matt and not Hallie, but Matt spoke up, “It’s fine, Kel… you go to shift. I’m okay, promise.”

Kelly looked at Matt for a moment longer, before nodding and shrugging, “Fine. I’m going to be late now, so thanks for that.”

He stood without another moment’s hesitation, stalking past Andy and leaving the room. Hallie didn’t miss the disappointment that flashed across Darden’s face, the young candidate heaving a sigh, “I probably have to head off as well, Hallie… if anything does come up, just text me, yeah? Just at the other end of the phone.”

Hallie thanked him, taking Kelly’s place beside Casey and touching him on the back, “Hey, you ready, Matty? We’ll get you back to bed… rest a bit longer.”

Matt nodded, but shrugged a shoulder, “Can I just sleep on the couch? Gives you more to do. Besides, it feels weird being in bed during the day.”

Hallie chuckled, running a hand through his hair as she nodded, “Yeah, you can do that. As long as I can take your temperature and give you some fever meds… you’re burning up, honey.”

A hoarse chuckle left Casey’s lips, and he smiled as he stood on shaky legs. Hallie was already waiting to grip at his arm, and he shook his head, “It’s a weird phrase… I mean, I get it, but I’m hardly burning.”

Hallie dropped her head to the side, thinking that response over, “I never really thought of that. Hear it so much in the ER – but you’re right, not too sure where it comes from.”

Clearing his throat as he was settled on the couch, Matt responded, “I don’t know either… but I know that they used to burn people – I mean to kill them – when they had fevers. They didn’t know what they were and got scared… don’t know if that’s connected, though, or if it’s just an idiom for being really hot.”

“I didn’t know that, Matt… but also not surprised. It wasn’t until fairly recently that they understood them. Now – do you want the TV on, or do you just want to close your eyes? Happy with either, as long as you’re resting…”

Matt shrugged as he clumsily pulled the blanket over himself, grateful when Hallie straightened it out, “I don’t mind… whatever you prefer. I think I’ll fall asleep either way, if I’m honest…”

“That’s fine, Matt… actually it’s good. Just let me get some pills into you first, they might make you feel semi-human.”

She went and got the medication, dropping them into Matt’s hand and rubbing his shoulder as he took them. He was still shivering lightly, and she tightened the blanket around his shoulders. He sipped down some more Gatorade – this time not getting the impression that he’d throw up – and dropped his head to the pillows, feeling his heavy eyes close of their own accord. Hallie brushed a hand through his hair, before dropping a kiss to his head, “Rest, Matt... I’ll get you up in two hours for more meds. Until then just sleep…”

He’d drifted off before she finished speaking, and Hallie smiled as she settled at the coffee table. She pulled out her work for med school, reading the textbook and making notes. Each time Matt coughed, sneezed, or otherwise stirred, she turned around, soothing him and making sure he went back to sleep. He was still shivering lightly, but each time she pressed her hand to his forehead she wasn’t worried. He wasn’t getting any warmer, he probably just felt like trash.

His rest was far from easy, but he kept his eyes mostly closed for the morning. It hurt to open his eyes anyway, and he felt safe with Hallie. He’d had the flu once in his old apartment, and it had been awful. It had been the cheapest one he could find, and he’d never felt safe. He’d always needed to be hypervigilant about what was happening around him, not trusting his landlord nor his neighbours. It had resulted in him being even more exhausted, and a weeks recovery had turned into a month. It probably hadn’t helped that the damn place didn’t have heating – nor that he’d been unable to afford anything that had deemed as sufficient food.

He coughed himself awake around lunchtime, resting a hand on his chest when he kept coughing. He felt like his throat was being torn out, and he whimpered as soon as he was done. He became aware of Hallie’s hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing, and he wiped his eyes, “Ugh. Sorry…”

“Nothing to be sorry for, Matty. How are you feeling?”

He just waved a hand, not trusting his voice. His throat was hurting so badly he didn’t think he could speak anyway. Hallie seemed to understand, once again squeezing his shoulder as she stated, “I’m going to take your temperature, then pills… then I’ve made chicken soup. I know you don’t feel up too much, but just give it a try… you need to eat to get your strength back.”

Tiredly, Matt nodded, knowing that Hallie was telling him the truth. He didn’t _feel_ like eating, but as son as he laid eyes on the soup he was filled with a new energy. He could tell from the way the chicken was cut up alone that this wasn’t Severide’s soup; plus, Kelly’s soup didn’t have carrots. Hallie had cooked this soup for him, and he grinned up at her, eyes positively lighting up, “You made this?”

Hallie just nodded, soothing his hair back off his forehead, “I did. Family recipe… take it slow, though. And don’t force yourself. I won’t be offended if you don’t finish it.”

He nodded, starting to spoon the soup into his mouth. His hands were shaking, and it made it a challenge – but damn the soup was good. He took another spoon, relaxing when it soothed his throat.

But it didn’t last long until he was covered in sweat, though, the heat from the soup suddenly feeling unpleasant. He set the spoon down, shaking intensifying, and rested a hand on his stomach.

“Okay, that’s enough, I think…” Hallie muttered, picking up the bowl.

Matt frowned, putting his head to the side, “It’s fine… I can keep going.”

“Matt, there’s no point in you forcing yourself… you’ll make yourself sick. That’s not gonna help you. You need to take it easy… rest is important.”

For a moment, Matt didn’t respond. Resting was a foreign concept for him, he was always on the go. He’d managed to get used to the idea that he was just staying inside, and Hallie was looking after him – well, maybe he _wasn’t_ used to the idea that Hallie was looking after him. He knew that she’d be staying with him, but he’d been expecting to do everything he could to not be an inconvenience – his comfort didn’t matter if it was going to make Hallie’s job easier.

But Hallie didn’t _want_ her job to be easier – he was realising that now. She wanted to look after him, and his comfort was his priority. Admittedly, both Severide and Darden had done that before… but they’d never been this persistent. He could usually get away with neglecting himself… but not with Hallie.

She was already back at his side by the time he got his thoughts in order, one hand on his shoulder. He glanced up, emotions overwhelming him, but he managed to keep them in check, “Hals… thank you. Uh – for looking after me. And doing such a good job… um… I do appreciate it.”

Slightly perplexed by Casey’s gratitude, Hallie just shrugged, “It’s not a big deal, Matt… I told you. I’m here to look after you… and do what I can to make you feel better.”

But Matt wasn’t finished, and he cleared his throat before speaking, “Yeah, I know, but… you’re doing more than just looking after me. I’m being kinda annoying… you’re still putting up with that.”

Her response was immediate, wanting to dispel that idea from his head, “You’re not in the least bit annoying, Matt… not at all. Ever.”

At first, Matt didn’t respond to her words, considering them slowly. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke, eyes distant, “Maybe. I just don’t want to be a burden.”

Now realising that Matt’s fear went much deeper than him just being sick, she settled beside him, “You’re not, Matt. You’re not a burden. I don’t know who made you think that – okay, well. Maybe I do know who made you think that. But I want you to know that I think they’re wrong. You’re not a burden, and you’re a great person to be around, Matty. I genuinely enjoy your company – healthy or not. Don’t let anyone think you’re not.”

Casey paused, aware that Hallie had been referring to his family, “Um, thanks… but uh… can we talk about this another time? I don’t have the words, and uh… don’t feel great.”

Nodding, Hallie rubbed his shoulder, “Of course, Matt. You don’t need to talk about it at all if you don’t want too… but I’m also here to listen. It’s your choice, Matty… I want you to feel comfortable. I love you either way.”

Staying silent, Casey wondered whether Hallie would still love him if she knew the truth. He knew that his family history was bad, really bad. And even if she didn’t judge him, he didn’t really want her pity.

He was saved from any further thinking when he started coughing, leaning over and pressing a hand to his chest. He was well and truly exhausted, and was glad when Hallie rested a hand on his shoulder, “Okay, Matt… come on. Bed or the couch?”

He motioned to the couch, not feeling strong enough to speak. Hallie helped him without another word, assisting him to the couch and smiling down at him. He closed his eyes, leaning into the pillow and hoping that the pounding in his head would go away.

He jumped then when he felt something cool rest against his forehead and forced his sensitive eyes open. Hallie had dropped a cool washcloth to his forehead, kneeling down and resting a hand on top of it, “Your fevers up a bit, Matt… is this comfortable?”

He nodded that it was, throat burning too much to speak. Hallie hummed in sympathy, dropping a kiss to the top of his head, “Alright… TV on? I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

Tiredly, he nodded, eyes drifting closed as Hallie kept patting his hair. She stayed right beside him until he fell asleep, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and standing back up. She stretched, cracking out each of her joints before trudging into the kitchen. She packed away the last of the soup, plugging the sink and filling it with soapy water. She dropped the saucepan in to soak, before settling back by the coffee table.

The second day of the flu was always the worst, and every symptom Matt had demonstrated it. He woke frequently, often needing to cough until he threw up. His fever was unpleasantly up and down, body snapping between chills and sweats, and his nose was constantly running. And that wasn’t including how his body was aching worse than it ever had before, every joint feeling like it had been twisted. His previously hoarse voice had completely faded, and the only way he could communicate was to write on a piece of paper.

It was his level of misery that resulted in him not even making it to dinner, crawling back into bed and curling tightly into himself as though it would help him feel semi-human. He was dizzy and felt as though he was on a boat. He felt the bed dip beside him, and then Hallie wrapped an arm around his middle. And just like that, he felt as though he was anchored. He leant back slightly, resting his head against her shoulder, and felt her shift to press a kiss to his forehead, “That’s it, Matty… nice and easy. Shhhh, honey shh…”

His sleep was only slightly more restful through the night, and only when Hallie was holding onto him. The few times she’d rolled away in her sleep, she’d be wakened to Matt hoarsely whispering her name, calling out for her even in his sleep. He’d been covered in sweat and looking so pale that her heart had ached for him, yet each time she made contact with his body – he’d shift, making sure that she was comfortable, despite his being out of it with a fever let alone fast asleep. She just hoped that she was that considerate of him.

* * *

Kelly Severide glanced around as he entered the apartment, having raced home from his firehouse. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Matt all shift, beyond worried about the blonde. Casey didn’t admit to being sick; not ever. He didn’t take a break, and he never complained.

At least, not with him.

He’d found himself trying to justify Matt’s behaviour, hoping Casey simply felt far worse than when he’d had that terrible cold while they’d been at the academy. But then he’d cursed himself; he was a terrible person for hoping that Casey felt awful just to soothe his own ego.

He glanced at the boxes of tablets sitting on the table, a wave of anxiety pulsing through his body. He had no idea what half of those meds did, let alone which doses were best. He felt tears prickle his eyes as he realised that Hallie had done a better job than him, and that Casey would probably be feeling a lot worse if it had been just up to him.

He was drawn from his thoughts when Darden cluttered through the doors, hastily wiping his eyes and clearing his throat. He turned back to his long-time friend, giving him a glare as though daring him to speak. He’d already ignored a barrage of texts from him, having pushed them to the back of his mind and locked them in a box.

But Andy was more than used to his friend’s antics, breezing past the fact he’d clearly been crying and nodding, “Kelly. How was shift?”

Instead of answering, Severide just shrugged. He moved towards the fridge, yanking it open, intending to grab the milk for some cereal. But the first thing he’d seen had been the container of chicken noodle soup, and he’d just known that Hallie had made it for him. As though his own soup wasn’t good enough.

He didn’t appreciate being slandered in his own home.

He slammed the fridge shut, tightening his jaw and turning away. He could see Darden eyeing him wearily, and he knew that the man was about to speak up. Luckily, he was saved when Casey’s door opened, and they both whipped around to see Hallie emerging.

She gave them a bright grin, moving taking her bag and slinging it over her shoulder, “Oh, good. I was hoping to catch you… I need to head to Lakeshore. Matt had his meds a thirty minutes ago… he knows what he needs, but I’ve still written it down.”

She set a piece of paper on the bench, tapping it with one finger, “He’s asleep… fairly peaceful compared to recently. Not sure how long that will last, though I’m hoping he’s through the worst of it today… hopefully his fever will break. You might still need to wake him up. I’m sure that he’ll want to move to the couch in a couple of hours… of course, I’m at the other end of the line, if you need me.”

Andy was nodding, but Severide couldn’t stop the pang of annoyance he felt. All the thoughts he’d had earlier about Hallie knowing more about medications than him flew were suddenly forgotten. Who was Hallie to tell him how to look after the blonde? He was far more adept; he knew Casey far better. He’d been with the blonde for longer; after all.

He became aware that the annoyance was clear across his face, so he quickly walked away. He was already going to cop it from Andy, he knew that, and he didn’t want to give him any ammunition than he already had.

Hoping that Darden hadn’t caught onto his train of thought, Severide slipped into Casey’s room. The blonde was splayed out, sweat beading at his brow, breath coming out in quick, uneven pants. But there was a cool cloth over his forehead, and he could see that Hallie had lovingly tucked a blanket around his frame.

For the life of him, he couldn’t fault how Hallie had treated him. Matt looked comfortable, and he utterly hated himself for the jealousy that took over.

Without thinking, he moved towards him, reaching down and touching Casey’s shoulder. His heart almost jumped out of his chest when Matt stirred, a weak whimper leaving his throat. He didn’t open his eyes, instead reaching out a hand blindly, “Hals?”

Kelly’s heart skipped a beat, heart sinking into his stomach, “No, sorry, buddy. It’s just me.”

Casey’s response was immediate, eyes opening as he grabbed Severide’s sleeve and pulled him towards him, “ _Sev._ ”

Severide resisted for only a moment, before allowing himself to be dragged towards him. Casey must have been more awake than he’d given him credit for, because the blonde lifted the covers as he’d dropped to the mattress. Casey pulled him in tighter, snuffling as he rested against his side. Severide paused for a moment, before dropping his hand to Casey’s overly warm back. He rubbed soothingly as Casey relaxed against him, thoughts racing through his head as Casey dropped off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Feedback always welcome :)


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